Gwen: They can't do this! I'm a British citizen on British soil.
Rhys: Yeah? Well, you've been too busy watching aliens. The fact is the Americans have been getting away with this for years.
Rex: Hey hey hey hey, what is that supposed to be? Criticism? What are you gonna do, write your MP?
Rex: No no no. This operation is mine. I thought of it. It's my idea, my execution.
Lyn Peterfield: You want to piss on the plane? Make that yours too?
Gwen: How's that cut on your arm?
Jack: I'll survive. I'm mortal, not dying. Well, technically I guess I am dying, but slowly.
Gwen: This thing that's happening to the world, this miracle. It must have something to do with you.
Jack: Great, so it's my fault.
Gwen: Can't be a coincidence, Jack.
Rhys: Of course it's not coincidence. Doesn't mean to say it's his fault.
Jack: Rhys, are you defending me?
Rhys: Well, actually it all got switched, didn't it? Nothing to do with Jack if the wires got crossed. Everything mortal becomes immortal. so everything immortal becomes mortal. See? I can be useful.
Rex: It's, uh, Danny, right? Now, listen, I'm not gay, but, uh, I'll let you feel me up if you go get me a vodka.
Danny: Oh, I'm not gay either.
Rex: All right then, well, I'll let you feel her up if you get me a vodka.
Gwen: I started to think it'd be like some kind of fairy tale. It'd be an old woman and you'd just turn up out of the blue, visit my granddaughter. I'd be ancient and you'd be exactly the same. Where did you go, Jack?
Jack: A long way away.
Gwen: And did it help?
(examining Jack's vortex manipulator)
Rex: Hey, lovebirds. Let me ask you a question. What the hell is this thing? Huh? All it does is go bleep.
Jack: So give it back to me.
Rex: Yeah, I'm sure you'd like that. What does it do, measure how mortal you are?
Jack: Still don't believe me?
Jack: The whole world can't die, but I'm the one who's being ridiculous.
Rex: Dr. Juarez, it's your favorite patient here and you have something that I want.
Dr. Vera Juarez: You sound like my ex-husband.
Rex: Really? So does he call wanting drugs and sex?
Dr. Vera Juarez: Yes.
Rex: Good man. But for now I'll just settle for the drugs.
Jack: Hey, can we have something to drink?
Danny: I am not allowed to talk to you.
Jack: Give it to us silently.
Danny: I am not allowed to talk to you.
Lyn Peterfield: They can have water. It's okay, I can supervise it.
Jack: Water? I'm American, too. Can't I contribute to our global cultural hegemony with a nice frosty cola?
Jilly Kitzinger: I'm needed in Washington. You hold onto my card, sir. Cause there's a reason the churches are empty. People don't want to hear about Heaven. They'd rather hear from a man who has gazed into Hell itself, and that's you. And frankly I think if the Devil himself were to walk this earth, he'd need representation.
Oswald: If the Devil himself walked this earth, he'd surely be working in PR.
Gwen: You went to supervise him, that's what you said. Supervise. Who needs supervising pouring a drink? What did you supervise, exactly?
Lyn Peterfield: So now you're accusing anyone.
Gwen: It's either you or the big gay steward. So that means only you.
Danny: I'm not gay.
Rex: This is the mortal man, the one I was telling you about. Seriously, I think this man can die.
Jack: Now you believe me.
Rex: You shut up.
Danny: Be careful, its my good tie.
Gwen: You're definitely not gay.
Danny: It was one time, okay?
Gwen: That was your last chance.
Lyn Peterfield: Yeah? What are you going to do about it? If you're the best England has to offer, God help you.
Gwen: I'm Welsh. (punches her unconscious)
Rex: Hey, uh, I just remembered, there's one final piece of legislation necessary to make this a full and proper rendition. And according to recent amendments to U.S. Code Section 3184 and Section 3185 in transferring prisoners from air side to land side, the law clearly states that, ah, once they touch down on American soil, they have free and easy access to one very important thing.
Gwen: And what's that?
Rex: Now come on and follow me.
Gwen: Hey! You get us arrested, okay? You break up my family, you nearly get Jack killed. Why should we go anywhere with you?
Rex: Because I have a car.
Esther: What the hell was that? Was that Lyn? What the hell is going on?
Gwen: Welcome to Torchwood.