Luke Smith: But it might know kids are supposed to like clowns.
Sarah Jane Smith: Personally they always gave me nightmares.
Luke Smith: Coulrophobia, it's the fear of clowns. Johnny Depp has it.
Clyde Langer: What encylopaedia did you find that in?
Luke Smith: Heat.
Clyde Langer: Sarah Jane, look at this. These are the same colors as the clown I saw. Red, yellow and blue.
Sarah Jane Smith: This isn't a clown. This is the Pied Piper. Story goes he rid Hamelin of its plague of rats. Then when the town refused to pay him, he came back and took all their children.
Elijah Spellman: The oldest and most accurate picture of the Pied Piper. The colors of his costume signify he was a traveling entertainer. But, I'm afraid, even clowns have their dark days.
Sarah Jane Smith: And that's exactly the sort of clown I'm interested in, Mr. Spellman. One that makes children disappear.
Clyde Langer: But the Pied Piper is a fairy tale.
Sarah Jane Smith: Myths, legends, fairy tales. Every story has its inspiration, Clyde.
Clyde: Rani, please tell me there's a good reason why our new head just pulled up outside your house, which doesn't involve the word Dad.
Rani: Honestly, he's alright, really. It's just his job.
Clyde: Yeah, that's what they said about Dr. Frankenstein.
Rani: You a bit of a brainbox then, Luke?
Clyde: They haven't got a box big enough.
Rani: I'm looking for Mr. Cunningham's form.
Luke: That's our class.
Rani: Oh, I start today.
Clyde: And you run into me. Now that's what I call a start.
Rani: Yeah, like starting the hundred metres in the Olympics, and tripping over your laces.
Luke: I did not fancy Maria!
Clyde: Boy I taught you well, didn't I? Clyde's cool rule number two: Deny all emotion, especially when involving girls.
Gita Chandra:(to Sarah Jane) Do you save the world every day, or is it just on Mondays?
Sarah Jane: Clowns make my skin crawl.
Gita: I'm Gita by the way.
Sarah Jane: Sarah Jane.
Gita: Well very pleased to meet you Sarah -
Sarah Jane: - Jane.
Gita: Lovely. Shall I see if we can find some cups?
Luke: This is Clyde. He thinks he's cool. I'm Luke.
Clyde: Who isn't.
Rani: Rani. My family just moved into Bannerman Road.
Luke: Bannerman Road?
Clyde: Of course, where else. Sarah Jane's right. The universe never stops weirding you out.
Rani Chandra: Isn't someone gonna tell me what's going on?
Sarah Jane Smith: Rani, there is a time and a place for an interview and being chased by a clown from outer space is most definitely not it.
Sarah Jane: Come on, Spellman! No more smoke and mirrors. If you're looking at getting fat on my fear, you're looking at a low-cal lunch!
Sarah Jane: Alright Rani, this is what we do, Luke, Clyde and me. When aliens come to Earth, and they do, all the time, if they're friendly, and they need help, we're here to give it.
Clyde: On the other hand, if they're looking for trouble, we give that too.
Sarah Jane: Yeah, well I wouldn't have put it quite like that.
Luke: Yeah, but we have saved the world twelve times now.
Rani: For real?
Sarah Jane: No-one is keeping score!
Clyde: Except for Luke.
Sarah Jane: When it comes to getting a true glimpse of the universe there are two types of people: those who refuse to believe, that would tell themselves anything to deny the evidence of their eyes, and those that embrace the universe and just how special life is. I want it to stay that way by keeping it safe and secret.
Rani: And that's me?
Sarah Jane: That's all of us.
Rani: I thought you were a journalist?
Sarah Jane: I am.
Rani: With alien gizmos in her attic? Who doesn't bat an eyelid at a shape-changing alien clown pied piper thing?
Sarah Jane: That's more of a hobby.
Clyde: Okay, annoying ring tones have their uses, I think we've all learned that today but they're still annoying.
Rani: It's my Mum. What do I tell her?
Sarah Jane: That you're on the way home.
Rani: Oh, what? You just expect me to go home like that.
Luke: Mum, I think you have to tell her everything.
Sarah Jane: No, I told you. Both of you.
Clyde: Please, Sarah Jane, that phone is doing my head in.
Sarah Jane: I'm going to offer you a choice Rani. Cross over the road, go back to your parents and the life you lived here and nothing will have changed or you can come with me. If you do that, nothing will ever be the same again.
Rani: I want to know the truth.
Sarah Jane: Then tell your Mum I'm giving you a little work experience.
Sarah Jane: (while striking with a fire extinguisher) Get away from her. I'm not scared of you.
Odd Bob The Clown: Oh, but you are scared of me, Sarah Jane Smith. Of all the things you have seen. Of all the things in the dark you have fought, it's real in your nightmares. The painted face, the clown!