Jack: I was the only one who could ever control him. That's why the Time Agency partnered us.
Rhys: Did you just say time agency? Don't tell me that is based in Cardiff, too.
Captain John Hart: Come on! Sing along. It's our song.
Jack: We don't have a song. And if we did have a song, it wouldn't be this song.
PC Andy: This is a crime scene, and a confidential crime scene at that. If it gets out what happened here, there'll be a city-wide panic.
Gwen: Rhys isn't gonna go blabber.
Rhys: I'm keeping more secrets than you'd ever believe.
PC Andy: Oh, like what?
Rhys: Like a time agency based in Cardiff.
Gwen: Oh, it's not based in Cardiff.
PC Andy: Brilliant secret. I ask, you tell. Well done.
Cowled Leader: Devils! Blasphemers! Pray to your heathen god, while in the Lord's name, we cast out.
(Ianto and Tosh casually gun them down)
Ianto: There we are, then.
Tosh: Sorted.
Jack: This is a little extreme, don't you think?
Captain John Hart: Oh, what, suddenly you're anti-bondage?
Ianto: Put Jack on right now!
Captain John Hart: Eye-candy! That was so masterful, so bossy, so basically powerless.
Captain John Hart: You took your time.
Gwen: On your knees!
Captain John Hart: Honestly, it's just sex, sex, sex with you.
Gwen: Now!
Owen: I'm gonna rage my way to oblivion!
Tosh: Please don't.
Owen: Why? Give me one good blood reason why I shouldn't! One good reason why I shouldn't keep bloody screaming!
Tosh: 'Cause you're breaking my heart.
Owen: I'm sorry.
Owen: We never did get that date, did we? You and me? We sort of missed each other. It was my fault. I didn't... I didn't notice until it was too late. I'm sorry.
Tosh: Me, too.
Tosh: (played after she died) So, if you're seeing this, I guess it means I'm, well, dead. Hope it was impressive. Not crossing the road or an incident with a toaster. I just wanted to say, it's okay. It really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and all those possibilities, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And, Owen. You never knew. I love you, all of you. And... I hope I did good.
Jack: Now we carry on.
Gwen: I don't think I can, not after this.
Jack: You can. We all can. The end is where we start from.
Showing posts with label Toshiko Sato. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toshiko Sato. Show all posts
02 October 2013
25 September 2013
Quotes from "Fragments"
(pulling a bottle out of his gut)
Jack: Ladies! Torso of steel, a shilling a feel. Any takers?
Jack: Silent types? That's okay. I used to date a guy with no mouth. Surprisingly creative.
Jack: Hey, when you joked about the millennium bug, I didn't realise it was gonna have 18 legs stacked with poison. Anyone home? Hey! You know you're supposed to party like it's... (finds his teammates dead) Alex?
Alex: Jack! Just in time.
Jack: Alex? What happened? Who did this?
Alex: Me.
Jack: What? Why?
Alex: We got it wrong, Jack. We thought we could control the stuff we found. And what's it brought us? So much death.
Jack: What happened to them?
Alex: It's good you're here. Always did have great timing. This place, it's yours. Torchwood Three. My gift to you, Jack, for a century of service as field operative. Fill this place with purpose. Before it's too late. Please.
Jack: Alex, listen. It's going to be okay.
Alex: No. It's not. It's really not. I looked inside. It showed me what's coming. They were mercy killings. It's the kindest thing I could do. So none of us see the storm. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you. 21st century, Jack. Everything's gonna change. And we're not ready. (shoots himself)
Jack: Alex!
Tosh: Who are you?
Jack: Nobody. I don't exist. And for a man with my charisma, that is quite an achievement.
(tracking a pterodactyl)
Jack: Yeah, it's quite excitable.
Ianto: Must be the aftershave.
Jack: Never wear any.
Ianto: You smell like that naturally?
Jack: Fifty-first century pheromones. People have no idea.
Ianto: What exactly is your plan?
Jack: I'm gonna be the decoy.
Ianto: And it won't rip you to shreds?
Jack: Dinosaurs? Had them for breakfast. Had to. Only source of food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.
Katie: It's like being lost in a place you know really well, you can't get your bearings. Sometimes it comes back to you. and sometimes... I'm sorry, Owen.
Owen: What've you got to be sorry for?
Katie: I don't want to put you through this. Last night, I dreamt that you left me.
Owen: Come on. Nobody's leaving anyone.
Owen: You're not a figment of my imagination and I don't know what's happening any more. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown feels like.
Jack: You're fine. It's the rest of the world that's delusional.
Jack: Ladies! Torso of steel, a shilling a feel. Any takers?
Jack: Silent types? That's okay. I used to date a guy with no mouth. Surprisingly creative.
Jack: Hey, when you joked about the millennium bug, I didn't realise it was gonna have 18 legs stacked with poison. Anyone home? Hey! You know you're supposed to party like it's... (finds his teammates dead) Alex?
Alex: Jack! Just in time.
Jack: Alex? What happened? Who did this?
Alex: Me.
Jack: What? Why?
Alex: We got it wrong, Jack. We thought we could control the stuff we found. And what's it brought us? So much death.
Jack: What happened to them?
Alex: It's good you're here. Always did have great timing. This place, it's yours. Torchwood Three. My gift to you, Jack, for a century of service as field operative. Fill this place with purpose. Before it's too late. Please.
Jack: Alex, listen. It's going to be okay.
Alex: No. It's not. It's really not. I looked inside. It showed me what's coming. They were mercy killings. It's the kindest thing I could do. So none of us see the storm. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you. 21st century, Jack. Everything's gonna change. And we're not ready. (shoots himself)
Jack: Alex!
Tosh: Who are you?
Jack: Nobody. I don't exist. And for a man with my charisma, that is quite an achievement.
(tracking a pterodactyl)
Jack: Yeah, it's quite excitable.
Ianto: Must be the aftershave.
Jack: Never wear any.
Ianto: You smell like that naturally?
Jack: Fifty-first century pheromones. People have no idea.
Ianto: What exactly is your plan?
Jack: I'm gonna be the decoy.
Ianto: And it won't rip you to shreds?
Jack: Dinosaurs? Had them for breakfast. Had to. Only source of food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.
Katie: It's like being lost in a place you know really well, you can't get your bearings. Sometimes it comes back to you. and sometimes... I'm sorry, Owen.
Owen: What've you got to be sorry for?
Katie: I don't want to put you through this. Last night, I dreamt that you left me.
Owen: Come on. Nobody's leaving anyone.
Owen: You're not a figment of my imagination and I don't know what's happening any more. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown feels like.
Jack: You're fine. It's the rest of the world that's delusional.
11 September 2013
Quotes from "From Out of the Rain"
Ianto: You were up there on the screen. Large as life.
Jack: What was I doing?
Ianto: You were on some sort of stage, outside a big tent. You seemed to be part of a travelling show.
Jack: I heard it. Heard its music. Just a snatch of it.
Ianto: That film was beautiful. All those acts performing for us. Part of history, trapped on film forever.
Jack: Their days were numbered. Cinema may have saved their images, but it finished off the travelling shows. Killed them.
Pearl: Make her cry.
Restaurant Owner: You what?
Pearl: I want to drink her tears.
Gwen: You did stand-up.
Jack: I never did stand-up.
Gwen: Okay, then. A song and dance.
Jack: I was sensational!
Tosh: I don't believe this, Jack. What were you doing there?
Owen: He was part of this freak show.
Jack: Yeah, some things never change.
Owen: Are you being rude about me?
(describing the Night Travellers)
Jack: I didn't work with them, I never knew anyone who did. They only performed in the dead of night. Anyway, it was just a tale that was around at that time. A ghost story. "They came from out of the rain". That's how people described them.
Jack: Ianto, you're with me. I need your local knowledge.
Gwen: Oh, is that what you're calling it these days?
Christina: Your eyes are older than your face.
Jack: Is that a bad thing?
Christina: Yes. It means you don't belong. It means you're from nowhere.
(trying to steal Owen's breath)
Ghostmaker: What are you? There's not a breath in your poor, sad body. You're no use to me.
Jack: What was I doing?
Ianto: You were on some sort of stage, outside a big tent. You seemed to be part of a travelling show.
Jack: I heard it. Heard its music. Just a snatch of it.
Ianto: That film was beautiful. All those acts performing for us. Part of history, trapped on film forever.
Jack: Their days were numbered. Cinema may have saved their images, but it finished off the travelling shows. Killed them.
Pearl: Make her cry.
Restaurant Owner: You what?
Pearl: I want to drink her tears.
Gwen: You did stand-up.
Jack: I never did stand-up.
Gwen: Okay, then. A song and dance.
Jack: I was sensational!
Tosh: I don't believe this, Jack. What were you doing there?
Owen: He was part of this freak show.
Jack: Yeah, some things never change.
Owen: Are you being rude about me?
(describing the Night Travellers)
Jack: I didn't work with them, I never knew anyone who did. They only performed in the dead of night. Anyway, it was just a tale that was around at that time. A ghost story. "They came from out of the rain". That's how people described them.
Jack: Ianto, you're with me. I need your local knowledge.
Gwen: Oh, is that what you're calling it these days?
Christina: Your eyes are older than your face.
Jack: Is that a bad thing?
Christina: Yes. It means you don't belong. It means you're from nowhere.
(trying to steal Owen's breath)
Ghostmaker: What are you? There's not a breath in your poor, sad body. You're no use to me.
04 September 2013
Quotes from "Something Borrowed"
Owen: She's going ahead with the wedding.
Jack: Which is fine, as long as she doesn't go into labour at the altar. Rhys might forgive her for going down the aisle pregnant, but not giving birth to a razor-toothed monster that eats half his family.
Gwen: We're not postponing the wedding. No way.
Rhys: Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? Getting married today doesn't matter.
Gwen: It matters to me! It's not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fill full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climb out of the drains on St. Mary's Street, you fool! Do you not understand what I'm saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you. That's all I want to do.
Geraint Cooper: I was with Rhys and his mates all night last night. No one said anything about Gwen being pregnant.
Mary Cooper: Well, Rhys was probably under orders. Gwen knows how to control her man.
Geraint Cooper: Studied under the mistress.
Banana: I'm Banana. I suppose you can tell why.
Tosh: You come up in spots and go soft quickly?
Banana: I'm actually the best man.
Tosh: Evolution is full of surprises.
Banana: So do you fancy a little drink later?
Tosh: I'm sorry. I'm intolerant to vasoactive amines.
Banana: Huh?
Tosh: Bananas make me vomit.
Ianto: I estimated Gwen's size from the Hub security laser scans. As you know, my dad was a master tailor. He could size a man's inside leg measurement by his stride across the shop threshold.
Jack: Ah, the family eye. Remind me to test it some time.
Owen: Besides, with that Nostrovite around, we really don't have too many options.
Ianto: He's got a point.
Jack: What is it with you? Ever since Owen died, all you ever do is agree with him.
Ianto: I was brought up never to speak ill of the dead. Even if they still do most of the talking for themselves.
Jack: What I don't understand is if people are going to make such a big deal about getting married, why come all the way out into the middle of nowhere where no one can find you to do it? That, to me, suggests inner conflict.
Ianto: It's because the happy couple want everything to be perfect.
Owen: An alien egg in your belly and its mother coming to rip you open. Yeah, perfect.
Jack: Get back, you ugly bitch!
Rhys: What the hell do you think you're doing? That's my mother!
(about Gwen)
Owen: That's the kind of daughter every mother must dream of. Cool as ice, packing an automatic.
Rhys: Hey, are you all right?
Gwen: I'm running around in a wedding dress with what feels like a keg of lager stuck up my skirt. What do you think, Rhys?
Gwen: What will you do while I'm gone?
Jack: Oh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times.
Ianto: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day chasing the scum of the universe. Come midnight, you're the wedding fairy.
Jack: Which is fine, as long as she doesn't go into labour at the altar. Rhys might forgive her for going down the aisle pregnant, but not giving birth to a razor-toothed monster that eats half his family.
Gwen: We're not postponing the wedding. No way.
Rhys: Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? Getting married today doesn't matter.
Gwen: It matters to me! It's not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fill full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climb out of the drains on St. Mary's Street, you fool! Do you not understand what I'm saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you. That's all I want to do.
Geraint Cooper: I was with Rhys and his mates all night last night. No one said anything about Gwen being pregnant.
Mary Cooper: Well, Rhys was probably under orders. Gwen knows how to control her man.
Geraint Cooper: Studied under the mistress.
Banana: I'm Banana. I suppose you can tell why.
Tosh: You come up in spots and go soft quickly?
Banana: I'm actually the best man.
Tosh: Evolution is full of surprises.
Banana: So do you fancy a little drink later?
Tosh: I'm sorry. I'm intolerant to vasoactive amines.
Banana: Huh?
Tosh: Bananas make me vomit.
Ianto: I estimated Gwen's size from the Hub security laser scans. As you know, my dad was a master tailor. He could size a man's inside leg measurement by his stride across the shop threshold.
Jack: Ah, the family eye. Remind me to test it some time.
Owen: Besides, with that Nostrovite around, we really don't have too many options.
Ianto: He's got a point.
Jack: What is it with you? Ever since Owen died, all you ever do is agree with him.
Ianto: I was brought up never to speak ill of the dead. Even if they still do most of the talking for themselves.
Jack: What I don't understand is if people are going to make such a big deal about getting married, why come all the way out into the middle of nowhere where no one can find you to do it? That, to me, suggests inner conflict.
Ianto: It's because the happy couple want everything to be perfect.
Owen: An alien egg in your belly and its mother coming to rip you open. Yeah, perfect.
Jack: Get back, you ugly bitch!
Rhys: What the hell do you think you're doing? That's my mother!
(about Gwen)
Owen: That's the kind of daughter every mother must dream of. Cool as ice, packing an automatic.
Rhys: Hey, are you all right?
Gwen: I'm running around in a wedding dress with what feels like a keg of lager stuck up my skirt. What do you think, Rhys?
Gwen: What will you do while I'm gone?
Jack: Oh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times.
Ianto: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day chasing the scum of the universe. Come midnight, you're the wedding fairy.
28 August 2013
Quotes from "A Day in the Death"
Owen: My name is Dr Owen Harper and this is my life. A life that is full of action and violence and work and wonder. Secrets and sex and love and heartbreak and death. My death. The death I survived. The death I am now living through. Except this isn't living. Every day is the same. I get up. Get ready for work, same as everyone else. The thing is, I'm not the same. I get to work and everyone's doing the same old thing. Babbling away about aliens and weddings. I'm not real. Three days ago, I died. And they think I'm fine, but they're wrong.
Owen: Yeah, I was brought back. Like Jesus really, but without the beard, you know. Shit, I'm never gonna have a beard. Not that I wanted one, you understand, but you know, one day I...
Maggie Hopley: If you are dead, then wh...why are you here. You can't be wanting to jump. You can't die twice.
Owen: Sorry, are you an expert?
Maggie Hopley: Sorry, are you an idiot?
Owen: Yeah, I'm a dead idiot.
Martha Jones: There is no sign of any muscle decay. You're in great shape, as ever.
Owen: No use coming onto me, Jones. I'm a changed man.
Martha Jones: And no stiffening anywhere?
Owen: Well...
Martha Jones: Just answer the question.
Maggie Hopley: So she offers to help you and you push her away. Charming.
Owen: Yeah, hole in the chest. Sorry if I don't follow social niceties any more.
Maggie Hopley: You mean you did before?
Owen: God, you're a pain in the arse, aren't you?
Owen: What exactly do I do when I get there?
Jack: Watch TV, chill.
Owen: Jack, I'm dead. I'm permanently chilled. You know you get to live forever. I get to die forever. It's funny that.
(Owen tries to drown himself without success)
Jack: Thirty six minutes, not bad.
Owen: You were watching?
Jack: Skinny guy in tight jeans runs into water? I was taking pictures.
Owen: Heat sensors. I am literally too cool for school.
Farrington: Okay, stop! Stop, or I'll shoot.
Owen: No, you won't. You're a security guard. That's gun just for show, isn't it? Do you know what a bullet does to a living person? It's not like a knife through butter. No, no, no, no. It rotates, tears into the flesh and the gooey stuff behind. Rips into the organs, ooh, it's not nice. But, anyway, I haven't got any body heat, you must know what that means. You can't kill a dead man.
Farrington: What are you?
Owen: I'm wrong.
Farrington: What are you?
Owen: I'm broken. I'm Dr Owen Harper. And I'm having one hell of a day.
Owen: Martha.
Martha Jones: Owen!
Owen: If it destroys me, they're going to need a new doctor. You've got all the credentials. Medical skills and a cracking arse.
Owen: We all assume that life's gonna be shit, don't we? That it's all just darkness. But you know what? Sometimes it's not.
Owen: Tosh, I'm scared. I'm scared that if I close my eyes, I'll get trapped. In the darkness.
Tosh: I'm here.
Maggie Hopley: What do I do now?
Owen: You've got a choice. If you think that the darkness is too much then go for it. But if there is a chance, just some hope... It could be having a cigarette, or that first sip of hot tea on a cold morning. Or it could be your mates. If there is even a tiny glimmer of light, then don't you think that's worth taking a chance?
Owen: Yeah, I was brought back. Like Jesus really, but without the beard, you know. Shit, I'm never gonna have a beard. Not that I wanted one, you understand, but you know, one day I...
Maggie Hopley: If you are dead, then wh...why are you here. You can't be wanting to jump. You can't die twice.
Owen: Sorry, are you an expert?
Maggie Hopley: Sorry, are you an idiot?
Owen: Yeah, I'm a dead idiot.
Martha Jones: There is no sign of any muscle decay. You're in great shape, as ever.
Owen: No use coming onto me, Jones. I'm a changed man.
Martha Jones: And no stiffening anywhere?
Owen: Well...
Martha Jones: Just answer the question.
Maggie Hopley: So she offers to help you and you push her away. Charming.
Owen: Yeah, hole in the chest. Sorry if I don't follow social niceties any more.
Maggie Hopley: You mean you did before?
Owen: God, you're a pain in the arse, aren't you?
Owen: What exactly do I do when I get there?
Jack: Watch TV, chill.
Owen: Jack, I'm dead. I'm permanently chilled. You know you get to live forever. I get to die forever. It's funny that.
(Owen tries to drown himself without success)
Jack: Thirty six minutes, not bad.
Owen: You were watching?
Jack: Skinny guy in tight jeans runs into water? I was taking pictures.
Owen: Heat sensors. I am literally too cool for school.
Farrington: Okay, stop! Stop, or I'll shoot.
Owen: No, you won't. You're a security guard. That's gun just for show, isn't it? Do you know what a bullet does to a living person? It's not like a knife through butter. No, no, no, no. It rotates, tears into the flesh and the gooey stuff behind. Rips into the organs, ooh, it's not nice. But, anyway, I haven't got any body heat, you must know what that means. You can't kill a dead man.
Farrington: What are you?
Owen: I'm wrong.
Farrington: What are you?
Owen: I'm broken. I'm Dr Owen Harper. And I'm having one hell of a day.
Owen: Martha.
Martha Jones: Owen!
Owen: If it destroys me, they're going to need a new doctor. You've got all the credentials. Medical skills and a cracking arse.
Owen: We all assume that life's gonna be shit, don't we? That it's all just darkness. But you know what? Sometimes it's not.
Owen: Tosh, I'm scared. I'm scared that if I close my eyes, I'll get trapped. In the darkness.
Tosh: I'm here.
Maggie Hopley: What do I do now?
Owen: You've got a choice. If you think that the darkness is too much then go for it. But if there is a chance, just some hope... It could be having a cigarette, or that first sip of hot tea on a cold morning. Or it could be your mates. If there is even a tiny glimmer of light, then don't you think that's worth taking a chance?
21 August 2013
Quotes from "Dead Man Walking"
Owen: You've stopped flirting with me. I mean, it's all right. I wouldn't flirt with me in my condition either, but... Is it still necrophilia if I'm conscious?
Owen: I'm a headless chicken. I just haven't stopped running about.
Martha: You had the power to bring people back to life and you never told UNIT. Why?
Jack: They would've wanted to use it.
(as Owen mass-vomits alcohol)
Jack: Oh! Oh, that is the single most disgusting thing I have ever seen, and I know disgusting.
Owen: But eventually that will stop too. I'll fart my last fart. God, I'm going to really miss farting. and sex.
Jack: Sex more than farting, I hope.
Owen: You take these things for granted. It's only when they're slipping away you realise how amazing they are. This could be the last time I see these flecks or, you know, feel these bricks underneath my hands.
Jack: "Only in suffering do we recognise beauty".
Owen: Yeah, yeah! Who said that?
Jack: Proust.
Owen: You've read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. Well, no. We dated for a while, he was really immature.
Owen: You know, none of us know whether to take you seriously when you say those things.
Jack: When you've lived as long as I have, you don't make any more up.
Owen: I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't shag. And they are three of my favourite things.
Gwen: Owen!
Owen: I'm not the same, Gwen. I came back different. Hollow. Like I'm missing something. And I do not want to be like this. Okay? I'm ready.
Ianto: I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger will know no bounds", but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers.
Owen: Jamie, they got you in for a round of chemo, have they?
Jamie Burton: Had that, it didn't work.
Owen: So why are you here?
Jamie Burton: They're trying to make me have it again. It didn't work though, the cancer just comes back, just makes my hair fall out. I'm gonna die. I might as well do it with eyebrows.
Owen: I'm a headless chicken. I just haven't stopped running about.
Martha: You had the power to bring people back to life and you never told UNIT. Why?
Jack: They would've wanted to use it.
(as Owen mass-vomits alcohol)
Jack: Oh! Oh, that is the single most disgusting thing I have ever seen, and I know disgusting.
Owen: But eventually that will stop too. I'll fart my last fart. God, I'm going to really miss farting. and sex.
Jack: Sex more than farting, I hope.
Owen: You take these things for granted. It's only when they're slipping away you realise how amazing they are. This could be the last time I see these flecks or, you know, feel these bricks underneath my hands.
Jack: "Only in suffering do we recognise beauty".
Owen: Yeah, yeah! Who said that?
Jack: Proust.
Owen: You've read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. Well, no. We dated for a while, he was really immature.
Owen: You know, none of us know whether to take you seriously when you say those things.
Jack: When you've lived as long as I have, you don't make any more up.
Owen: I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't shag. And they are three of my favourite things.
Gwen: Owen!
Owen: I'm not the same, Gwen. I came back different. Hollow. Like I'm missing something. And I do not want to be like this. Okay? I'm ready.
Ianto: I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger will know no bounds", but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers.
Owen: Jamie, they got you in for a round of chemo, have they?
Jamie Burton: Had that, it didn't work.
Owen: So why are you here?
Jamie Burton: They're trying to make me have it again. It didn't work though, the cancer just comes back, just makes my hair fall out. I'm gonna die. I might as well do it with eyebrows.
14 August 2013
Quotes from "Reset"
Jack: Suddenly, in an underground mortuary on a wet night in Cardiff, I hear the song of a nightingale. (Martha Jones enters) Miss Martha Jones.
Jack: Dr Jones is from UNIT.
Gwen: Oh, I'm sorry, sorry. I get a bit confused. Which one's UNIT?
Jack: Intelligence, military, cute red caps. The acceptable face of intelligence gathering on aliens. We're more ad hoc, but better looking.
Jack: me on, Martha. Be honest. You just came all this way to see me.
Martha: Still struggling to conquer your shyness, Jack?
Martha: God, I am so glad to see you, Jack.
Jack: See, you did come all this way to see me. It's the jaw line, once seen, always yearned for.
Jack: So do you think you can get me one of those red caps for personal use? I'm thinking Ianto might look good in it.
Gwen: Um, so... you know Jack pretty well, then?
Martha: Oh, we were only together for a few days, but it was pretty intense.
Gwen: You mean...
Martha: Oh, God, no, no! No! Not that sort of intense! No, nothing like that. Why, are you and him...
Gwen: No! No! Not at all!
Martha: We must be the only two people on the planet.
Gwen: I know. What are we doing wrong?
Owen: So you and Jack go back a long way?
Martha: Forward and back, really.
Jack: I'd rely on Martha if the world was ending. In fact I did.
(discussing Jack)
Martha: So am I right in thinking that you and he...
Ianto: We... dabble.
Martha: Yeah?
Ianto: Yeah.
Martha: So, what's his dabbling like?
Ianto: Innovative.
Martha: Really?
Ianto: Bordering on the avant garde.
Tosh: Ianto, what have you done with Billy Davis's body?
Ianto: Um, I was just about to dispose of it. Why?
Tosh: I thought of a way we can use him to get us into the Pharm. (shows Ianto her plan) Clever, huh?
Ianto: Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things?
Tosh: I'll take that as a compliment.
Jack: Dr Jones is from UNIT.
Gwen: Oh, I'm sorry, sorry. I get a bit confused. Which one's UNIT?
Jack: Intelligence, military, cute red caps. The acceptable face of intelligence gathering on aliens. We're more ad hoc, but better looking.
Jack: me on, Martha. Be honest. You just came all this way to see me.
Martha: Still struggling to conquer your shyness, Jack?
Martha: God, I am so glad to see you, Jack.
Jack: See, you did come all this way to see me. It's the jaw line, once seen, always yearned for.
Jack: So do you think you can get me one of those red caps for personal use? I'm thinking Ianto might look good in it.
Gwen: Um, so... you know Jack pretty well, then?
Martha: Oh, we were only together for a few days, but it was pretty intense.
Gwen: You mean...
Martha: Oh, God, no, no! No! Not that sort of intense! No, nothing like that. Why, are you and him...
Gwen: No! No! Not at all!
Martha: We must be the only two people on the planet.
Gwen: I know. What are we doing wrong?
Owen: So you and Jack go back a long way?
Martha: Forward and back, really.
Jack: I'd rely on Martha if the world was ending. In fact I did.
(discussing Jack)
Martha: So am I right in thinking that you and he...
Ianto: We... dabble.
Martha: Yeah?
Ianto: Yeah.
Martha: So, what's his dabbling like?
Ianto: Innovative.
Martha: Really?
Ianto: Bordering on the avant garde.
Tosh: Ianto, what have you done with Billy Davis's body?
Ianto: Um, I was just about to dispose of it. Why?
Tosh: I thought of a way we can use him to get us into the Pharm. (shows Ianto her plan) Clever, huh?
Ianto: Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things?
Tosh: I'll take that as a compliment.
07 August 2013
Quotes from "Adam"
Tosh: What's that.
Owen: It's a screen cleaner. I thought you might like it. Do you like it?
Tosh: Just what I need. A small rodent looking at me as I work. Think I'll call it Owen.
Ianto: I'll have a look in the diary. I like to log the interesting stuff.
Tosh: You write about artefacts in your diary?
Ianto: Among other things.
Owen: Because I love you.
Tosh: What?
Owen: Oh yeah, there we are, I've said it. I love you! Yes, I always have, actually, ever since we started working together and, in fact, um, actually, I ache for you. Physically, when you're in the room, I just want to reach out and touch you...
Tosh: Owen.
Owen: No, no, I can't keep the secret any more. My mum said to me "Seize the day", so I am seizing it and, you know, I've got so much love to give you, Tosh, and you know, you won't know that unless I tell you. So here I am, telling you that I love you!
Jack: Our memories define us, Adam changed those memories, he changed who we are. Now I have to help you all go back. Find a memory that defines you, rediscover who you are. If I'm wrong, he'll still be here when we've done this. Let me take you back to before we all met. Feel around for anything that makes you what you are. The hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are.
Gwen: I love him. But not in the way I love you.
Jack: Take this.
Tosh: Knowing there has to be more to life than this. Knowing I'm special. Waiting for someone to see it.
Jack: I saw it.
Owen: You save one life, 100 lives, but it's never enough. Who'll save me?
Jack: I will.
Ianto: Coming here... it gave me meaning again. You. (Jack kisses him)
Jack: Found your diary.
Ianto: Yep, been looking for that.
Jack: And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.
Owen: It's a screen cleaner. I thought you might like it. Do you like it?
Tosh: Just what I need. A small rodent looking at me as I work. Think I'll call it Owen.
Ianto: I'll have a look in the diary. I like to log the interesting stuff.
Tosh: You write about artefacts in your diary?
Ianto: Among other things.
Owen: Because I love you.
Tosh: What?
Owen: Oh yeah, there we are, I've said it. I love you! Yes, I always have, actually, ever since we started working together and, in fact, um, actually, I ache for you. Physically, when you're in the room, I just want to reach out and touch you...
Tosh: Owen.
Owen: No, no, I can't keep the secret any more. My mum said to me "Seize the day", so I am seizing it and, you know, I've got so much love to give you, Tosh, and you know, you won't know that unless I tell you. So here I am, telling you that I love you!
Jack: Our memories define us, Adam changed those memories, he changed who we are. Now I have to help you all go back. Find a memory that defines you, rediscover who you are. If I'm wrong, he'll still be here when we've done this. Let me take you back to before we all met. Feel around for anything that makes you what you are. The hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are.
Gwen: I love him. But not in the way I love you.
Jack: Take this.
Tosh: Knowing there has to be more to life than this. Knowing I'm special. Waiting for someone to see it.
Jack: I saw it.
Owen: You save one life, 100 lives, but it's never enough. Who'll save me?
Jack: I will.
Ianto: Coming here... it gave me meaning again. You. (Jack kisses him)
Jack: Found your diary.
Ianto: Yep, been looking for that.
Jack: And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.
31 July 2013
Quotes from "Meat"
Gwen: Have you ever eaten alien meat?
Jack: Yeah.
Gwen: What was it like?
Jack: He seemed to enjoy it.
Ianto: Did you bring the alarm deactivator? (Owen shoots the lock out) Well, that's one way of doing it.
Gwen: Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary that just for one second you think there might be more out there?
Ianto: Well, this is unprecedented. The fiancé finding out.
Tosh: Mainly because we're all sad and single.
Tosh: If we understood how it worked, we could feed the world.
Ianto: We could release a single.
Rhys Williams: Well if you stopped and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showing off round the place.
Jack: Do I show off?
Ianto: Just a bit.
Rhys Williams: You'd know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy. So rather than cock things up, I've found you a way to get in. But if you can't handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it!
Jack: This is quite homoerotic.
Jack: Stun guns only.
Owen: We've handled bigger than this. Why don't we just storm in, guns in the air, and arrest them?
Jack: Those men aren't organised criminals. If we go in, guns blazing, they'll kill the evidence and run.
Owen: Well, I wasn't suggesting blazing, just waving.
Jack: We're going to save it. Stabilise it, wait for the rift to open and send it back.
Ianto: Guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime.
Tosh: Tell me exactly how we are going to use it to arm ourselves against the future?
Owen: We could always hide behind it.
Jack: Why shouldn't we save it? Because it's an alien? It needs our protection.
Rhys Williams: You didn't hear its cry. Heartbreaking.
Ianto: Listen to Ahab.
Owen: Jack, it's growing.
Jack: Well, we'll find a way to stop it mutating. We are doing this. That's an order.
Owen: Fine.
Ianto: I'll stock up on plankton.
Ruth: Here's your tea. And I got you a Danish, your favourite.
Jack: I'm in the wrong job.
Ruth: We do have job vacancies.
Jack: Ah, maybe you could fit me in.
Ruth: I'd be delighted to.
Jack: (suggestively) Would I need a license for... trucking?
Ruth: Yes. Takes four weeks, and then you can go long distance.
Jack: Ha. That wouldn't be a problem.
Rhys Williams: Yeah, she's an amazing girl. I'm a lucky man, Jack.
Jack: Yeah, you said it.
Rhys Williams: I just wish you were a bit uglier. (laughs) You're not gay by any chance, are you?
Jack: Imprisoned, chained, and drugged. Welcome to Planet Earth.
Rhys Williams: Look around us. Nobody else knows what we've been through. Or what else is out there. They sky won't be the same to me any more. I used to look up and think, "Ah, looks like rain, man," but now, oh, now I'll... I'll look and I'll think of all the other worlds and the planets and stuff spinning around out there. And I got to be a part of it all. Fantastic! Which puts worrying about unsigned dockets into perspective, I can tell you.
Jack: You really think you could go back to your old life before Torchwood?
Gwen: I wouldn't know anything different.
Jack: I would.
Jack: Yeah.
Gwen: What was it like?
Jack: He seemed to enjoy it.
Ianto: Did you bring the alarm deactivator? (Owen shoots the lock out) Well, that's one way of doing it.
Gwen: Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary that just for one second you think there might be more out there?
Ianto: Well, this is unprecedented. The fiancé finding out.
Tosh: Mainly because we're all sad and single.
Tosh: If we understood how it worked, we could feed the world.
Ianto: We could release a single.
Rhys Williams: Well if you stopped and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showing off round the place.
Jack: Do I show off?
Ianto: Just a bit.
Rhys Williams: You'd know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy. So rather than cock things up, I've found you a way to get in. But if you can't handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it!
Jack: This is quite homoerotic.
Jack: Stun guns only.
Owen: We've handled bigger than this. Why don't we just storm in, guns in the air, and arrest them?
Jack: Those men aren't organised criminals. If we go in, guns blazing, they'll kill the evidence and run.
Owen: Well, I wasn't suggesting blazing, just waving.
Jack: We're going to save it. Stabilise it, wait for the rift to open and send it back.
Ianto: Guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime.
Tosh: Tell me exactly how we are going to use it to arm ourselves against the future?
Owen: We could always hide behind it.
Jack: Why shouldn't we save it? Because it's an alien? It needs our protection.
Rhys Williams: You didn't hear its cry. Heartbreaking.
Ianto: Listen to Ahab.
Owen: Jack, it's growing.
Jack: Well, we'll find a way to stop it mutating. We are doing this. That's an order.
Owen: Fine.
Ianto: I'll stock up on plankton.
Ruth: Here's your tea. And I got you a Danish, your favourite.
Jack: I'm in the wrong job.
Ruth: We do have job vacancies.
Jack: Ah, maybe you could fit me in.
Ruth: I'd be delighted to.
Jack: (suggestively) Would I need a license for... trucking?
Ruth: Yes. Takes four weeks, and then you can go long distance.
Jack: Ha. That wouldn't be a problem.
Rhys Williams: Yeah, she's an amazing girl. I'm a lucky man, Jack.
Jack: Yeah, you said it.
Rhys Williams: I just wish you were a bit uglier. (laughs) You're not gay by any chance, are you?
Jack: Imprisoned, chained, and drugged. Welcome to Planet Earth.
Rhys Williams: Look around us. Nobody else knows what we've been through. Or what else is out there. They sky won't be the same to me any more. I used to look up and think, "Ah, looks like rain, man," but now, oh, now I'll... I'll look and I'll think of all the other worlds and the planets and stuff spinning around out there. And I got to be a part of it all. Fantastic! Which puts worrying about unsigned dockets into perspective, I can tell you.
Jack: You really think you could go back to your old life before Torchwood?
Gwen: I wouldn't know anything different.
Jack: I would.
26 July 2013
24 July 2013
Quotes from "To the Last Man"
Gwen: Who is he?
Jack: Thomas Reginald Brockless.
Ianto: Tommy.
Jack: Twenty-four years old.
Ianto: Sort of.
Gwen: Well, he's either twenty-four or he's not.
Ianto: Depends how you work it out.
Gwen: All right, when was he born?
Jack: 1894.
Gwen: He's a frozen soldier from 1918.
Jack: Nobody's perfect.
Jack: 1918, this place was full of wounded soldiers. They'd had four years of it. Passchendaele, the Somme, a million British soldiers killed during the Great War. It was like walking into hell. Believe me. I was there.
Tosh: So what do you want to do now?
Tommy: Well, we could go back to mine, but there's only room for one and it's bloody freezing.
Jack: This time tomorrow, he'll be back in 1918.
Ianto: In his own time. Would you go back to yours? If you could.
Jack: Why? Would you miss me?
Ianto: Yep.
Jack: I left home a long time ago. I don't really know where I really belong. Maybe that doesn't matter any more.
Ianto: I know you get lonely.
Jack: Going home wouldn't fix that. Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see. Loved people I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was. And I wouldn't change that for the world.
(they kiss)
Jack: Thomas Reginald Brockless.
Ianto: Tommy.
Jack: Twenty-four years old.
Ianto: Sort of.
Gwen: Well, he's either twenty-four or he's not.
Ianto: Depends how you work it out.
Gwen: All right, when was he born?
Jack: 1894.
Gwen: He's a frozen soldier from 1918.
Jack: Nobody's perfect.
Jack: 1918, this place was full of wounded soldiers. They'd had four years of it. Passchendaele, the Somme, a million British soldiers killed during the Great War. It was like walking into hell. Believe me. I was there.
Tosh: So what do you want to do now?
Tommy: Well, we could go back to mine, but there's only room for one and it's bloody freezing.
Jack: This time tomorrow, he'll be back in 1918.
Ianto: In his own time. Would you go back to yours? If you could.
Jack: Why? Would you miss me?
Ianto: Yep.
Jack: I left home a long time ago. I don't really know where I really belong. Maybe that doesn't matter any more.
Ianto: I know you get lonely.
Jack: Going home wouldn't fix that. Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see. Loved people I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was. And I wouldn't change that for the world.
(they kiss)
17 July 2013
Quotes from "Sleeper"
Police Officer: In my opinion, the husband did it. He was looking for trouble, expecting to be burgled.
Jack: Really?
Police Officer: Yeah, look. No other reason I can think of for keeping sports equipment in the basement.
Jack: Oh, you should come around to my house for a game of hockey sometime.
Mike Halloran: I don't remember the doctor saying anything about resting my mouth.
Beth Halloran: Actually he did. He was very specific. No talking for a whole week.
Mike Halloran: Lies, lies, why so many lies?
Ianto: "Just us and this room for as long as it takes." Terrifying.
Jack: Really?
Ianto: Absolutely. Shivers down my spine.
Jack: You don't look scared.
Ianto: Oh, it passed.
Beth Halloran: Who are you people? Don't you have any windows?
Gwen: It wouldn't really be in-keeping with the whole secrecy thing, people looking in, would it?
(Beth stops to examine a monitor)
Ianto: We don't sniff the sub-etheric resonator!
Beth Halloran: Sorry.
Tosh: You said we weren't allowed to use that again.
Jack: It's just a mind probe.
Ianto: You remember what happened last time you used it?
Jack: That was different and that species has extremely high blood pressure.
Ianto: Oh, right. Their heads must explode all the time.
Gwen: Jack, you can't do this. What if you're wrong? If she is human, it'll kill her.
Jack: I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is.
Tosh: Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble.
Ianto: Or the first sign of exploding.
Beth Halloran: Will it hurt?
Jack: Yeah.
Beth Halloran: Your bedside manner's rubbish.
Gwen: You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious. Apparently, so I've heard.
Ianto: Oh, they are. I remember...
(Jack clears his throat)
Gwen: Do you feel human?
Beth Halloran: Yes.
Gwen: Yes, well, then you are. What makes us human? Is it our minds or our bodies?
Jack: Tosh, you switched off the transceiver?
Tosh: Yes.
Jack: Are you sure?
Tosh: Well, I was until you asked.
Owen: Well how do you know all that?
Owen: I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen.
Tosh: (hacking a military computer) Come on, guys, that wasn't even difficult. You disappoint me.
Ianto: It's almost obscene what you do to security systems.
Jack: Come on, with a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: What if they can't stop it?
Tosh: They'll stop it.
Owen: Yeah, but if they can't?
Ianto: Then it's all over.
Owen: Let's all have sex.
Ianto: And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.
Jack: Really?
Police Officer: Yeah, look. No other reason I can think of for keeping sports equipment in the basement.
Jack: Oh, you should come around to my house for a game of hockey sometime.
Mike Halloran: I don't remember the doctor saying anything about resting my mouth.
Beth Halloran: Actually he did. He was very specific. No talking for a whole week.
Mike Halloran: Lies, lies, why so many lies?
Ianto: "Just us and this room for as long as it takes." Terrifying.
Jack: Really?
Ianto: Absolutely. Shivers down my spine.
Jack: You don't look scared.
Ianto: Oh, it passed.
Beth Halloran: Who are you people? Don't you have any windows?
Gwen: It wouldn't really be in-keeping with the whole secrecy thing, people looking in, would it?
(Beth stops to examine a monitor)
Ianto: We don't sniff the sub-etheric resonator!
Beth Halloran: Sorry.
Tosh: You said we weren't allowed to use that again.
Jack: It's just a mind probe.
Ianto: You remember what happened last time you used it?
Jack: That was different and that species has extremely high blood pressure.
Ianto: Oh, right. Their heads must explode all the time.
Gwen: Jack, you can't do this. What if you're wrong? If she is human, it'll kill her.
Jack: I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is.
Tosh: Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble.
Ianto: Or the first sign of exploding.
Beth Halloran: Will it hurt?
Jack: Yeah.
Beth Halloran: Your bedside manner's rubbish.
Gwen: You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious. Apparently, so I've heard.
Ianto: Oh, they are. I remember...
(Jack clears his throat)
Gwen: Do you feel human?
Beth Halloran: Yes.
Gwen: Yes, well, then you are. What makes us human? Is it our minds or our bodies?
Jack: Tosh, you switched off the transceiver?
Tosh: Yes.
Jack: Are you sure?
Tosh: Well, I was until you asked.
Owen: Well how do you know all that?
Owen: I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen.
Tosh: (hacking a military computer) Come on, guys, that wasn't even difficult. You disappoint me.
Ianto: It's almost obscene what you do to security systems.
Jack: Come on, with a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: What if they can't stop it?
Tosh: They'll stop it.
Owen: Yeah, but if they can't?
Ianto: Then it's all over.
Owen: Let's all have sex.
Ianto: And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.
10 July 2013
Quotes from "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"
Gwen: All I'm saying is, you are speeding and there are children.
Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight, they've got it coming.
Blowfish: So, this is Team Torchwood: The teacher's pets. But Teacher has gone, hasn't he? Leaving the Kiddy Kids all alone. And look at you, trying so hard to be all grown up: The Doctor with his hands full of blood. The Carer with her oh so beating heart. The Technician with her cold devices. Which leaves me with the Office Boy, promoted beyond his measure. All of you, lost without your master. All of you, pretending to be so brave. All of you so scared. So, what about it, minions? Can you do it? How good are you? How sharp is your aim? What if you kill her? What if I kill her first? Can you shoot before I do? Can you? Dare you? Would you? Won't you?
Tosh: Where were you?
Jack: I found my Doctor.
Owen: Did he fix you?
Jack: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection.
Ianto: Are you going back to him?
Jack: I came back for you. All of you.
Mugger: Come any closer I'll open up his neck.
Captain John Hart: Fine.
Mugger: What?
Captain John Hart: Which artery do you normally sever?
Mugger: I'm not bluffing!
Captain John Hart: Well see, now you've given yourself away. Only someone who's bluffing ever says they aren't.
Jack: Okay, let's get back and see what we can piece together.
Gwen: Good in charge again, you?
Jack: I was hoping for a little power struggle. Resolved by some naked wrestling.
Owen: Okay, so who the hell was that bloke in the hologram?
Ianto: I know Jack recognized him.
Tosh: Why didn't he let us go with him?
Gwen: 'Cause he's typical Jack, isn't he? He disappears, he comes back, then he runs away again. Shuts us out. We don't even know his real name.
Tosh: Or which time he comes from.
Gwen: Exactly. He's supposed to be our boss and we know nothing about him. Drives me crazy.
Ianto: It is more fun when he's around though.
Owen: Yeah. No. Definitely.
Gwen: Yeah it is.
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness, note the stripes.
Captain John Hart: Captain John Hart, note the sarcasm.
Jack: Hey, I worked my way up through the ranks.
Captain John Hart: I bet the ranks were very grateful.
(as Captain John drinks a bottle of vodka)
Jack: So, uh, how was rehab?
Captain John Hart: Rehabs. Plural.
Jack: Sex, drink, drugs, and...
Captain John Hart: Murder.
Jack: You went to murder rehab?
Captain John Hart: I know, ridiculous! The odd kill, who does it hurt?
Jack: You clean now?
Captain John Hart: Oh yeah, kicked everything. Living like a priest.
Captain John Hart: Oh, do you have a team name? I love team names, go on!
Jack: Torchwood.
Captain John Hart: Oh. Not Excalibur? Blizzard? Bikini Cops? No? Torchwood. Oh, dear.
Tosh: It's the same as yours.
Jack: A little smaller.
Captain John Hart: But lasts much longer. Get two Time Agents in the same room, it's always about the size of the wrist strap.
Gwen: John's right. I'm sorry, do you prefer "John" or "Captain"?
Captain John Hart: With eyes like yours? Call me Vera, I won't complain.
Jack: Three rules. One, don't believe anything he say. Two, always keep him in front of you. And three, under no circumstances let him kiss you.
Gwen: As if I would!
Captain John Hart: Has he gotten to the "no kissing" rule yet? He only invented because he wants me all to himself.
Jack: Oh yeah, loving that officey feel. I always get excited in these places. To me they're exotic. Office romances, photocopying your butt. (to Ianto) Well, maybe not your butt. Although, as we're here, why don't we photo...
Ianto: Why are you doing this?
Captain John Hart: We're a cosmic joke, eye candy. An accident of chemicals and evolution. The jokes, the sex, just cover the fact that nothing means anything. And the only consolation is money. So run, Ianto Jones!
Jack: You know, you never really mastered that temptation spiel.
Captain John Hart: It's not a spiel. It's fact.
Jack: Move on! Here I am with a new life, and you're still churning out the same old tunes. And sorry, but they don't play as well now you're looking a little bit older. And what are they, wrinkles around your eyes?
Captain John Hart: Laugh lines.
Jack: Oh, hell of a good joke.
Captain John Hart: It's you I'm laughing at.
Captain John Hart: Pretty and resilient. It's not even fair.
Gwen: Maybe you didn't realise. You can beat, shoot, threaten, and even poison us and we'll keep coming back, stronger every time.
Captain John Hart: Well, I think you ought to know, your boss is splayed out on the... (Jack walks in) ...pavement. Now, that's impressive. Seriously, you could earn a fortune in the Vegas galaxies with an act like that. Go on, how's it work?
Jack: I can't die.
Captain John Hart: No, but really.
Jack: No, but really. You can't kill me. No matter how many times you try, I cant die, ever.
Captain John Hart: But what does it cost you? Every time you have to drag yourself back here, how does it feel? All that pain and trauma. Plus, you're reborn into this godforsaken mess. I pity you.
Jack: These people. This planet. All the beauty you could never see. That's what I come back for.
Captain John Hart: Well, goody on you.
Tosh: You said this was a dying woman's request.
Captain John Hart: Yeah, she was dying. I shot her.
Gwen: You are unbelievable.
Captain John Hart: And yet you still find me strangely attractive.
Captain John Hart: I think I'm starting to see what he likes about this place. She's beautiful, he's stunning...
Gwen: Don't you ever stop?
Captain John Hart: What? Five minutes to live, you want me to behave? (looking out the window) Oh, that's gorgeous!
Gwen: That's a poodle.
Captain John Hart: That's nice!
Gwen: We have to go!
Captain John Hart: No! What about a last minute rescue? What's the point of being on a team if you don't get a last minute rescue?
Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight, they've got it coming.
Blowfish: So, this is Team Torchwood: The teacher's pets. But Teacher has gone, hasn't he? Leaving the Kiddy Kids all alone. And look at you, trying so hard to be all grown up: The Doctor with his hands full of blood. The Carer with her oh so beating heart. The Technician with her cold devices. Which leaves me with the Office Boy, promoted beyond his measure. All of you, lost without your master. All of you, pretending to be so brave. All of you so scared. So, what about it, minions? Can you do it? How good are you? How sharp is your aim? What if you kill her? What if I kill her first? Can you shoot before I do? Can you? Dare you? Would you? Won't you?
Tosh: Where were you?
Jack: I found my Doctor.
Owen: Did he fix you?
Jack: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection.
Ianto: Are you going back to him?
Jack: I came back for you. All of you.
Mugger: Come any closer I'll open up his neck.
Captain John Hart: Fine.
Mugger: What?
Captain John Hart: Which artery do you normally sever?
Mugger: I'm not bluffing!
Captain John Hart: Well see, now you've given yourself away. Only someone who's bluffing ever says they aren't.
Jack: Okay, let's get back and see what we can piece together.
Gwen: Good in charge again, you?
Jack: I was hoping for a little power struggle. Resolved by some naked wrestling.
Owen: Okay, so who the hell was that bloke in the hologram?
Ianto: I know Jack recognized him.
Tosh: Why didn't he let us go with him?
Gwen: 'Cause he's typical Jack, isn't he? He disappears, he comes back, then he runs away again. Shuts us out. We don't even know his real name.
Tosh: Or which time he comes from.
Gwen: Exactly. He's supposed to be our boss and we know nothing about him. Drives me crazy.
Ianto: It is more fun when he's around though.
Owen: Yeah. No. Definitely.
Gwen: Yeah it is.
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness, note the stripes.
Captain John Hart: Captain John Hart, note the sarcasm.
Jack: Hey, I worked my way up through the ranks.
Captain John Hart: I bet the ranks were very grateful.
(as Captain John drinks a bottle of vodka)
Jack: So, uh, how was rehab?
Captain John Hart: Rehabs. Plural.
Jack: Sex, drink, drugs, and...
Captain John Hart: Murder.
Jack: You went to murder rehab?
Captain John Hart: I know, ridiculous! The odd kill, who does it hurt?
Jack: You clean now?
Captain John Hart: Oh yeah, kicked everything. Living like a priest.
Captain John Hart: Oh, do you have a team name? I love team names, go on!
Jack: Torchwood.
Captain John Hart: Oh. Not Excalibur? Blizzard? Bikini Cops? No? Torchwood. Oh, dear.
Tosh: It's the same as yours.
Jack: A little smaller.
Captain John Hart: But lasts much longer. Get two Time Agents in the same room, it's always about the size of the wrist strap.
Gwen: John's right. I'm sorry, do you prefer "John" or "Captain"?
Captain John Hart: With eyes like yours? Call me Vera, I won't complain.
Jack: Three rules. One, don't believe anything he say. Two, always keep him in front of you. And three, under no circumstances let him kiss you.
Gwen: As if I would!
Captain John Hart: Has he gotten to the "no kissing" rule yet? He only invented because he wants me all to himself.
Jack: Oh yeah, loving that officey feel. I always get excited in these places. To me they're exotic. Office romances, photocopying your butt. (to Ianto) Well, maybe not your butt. Although, as we're here, why don't we photo...
Ianto: Why are you doing this?
Captain John Hart: We're a cosmic joke, eye candy. An accident of chemicals and evolution. The jokes, the sex, just cover the fact that nothing means anything. And the only consolation is money. So run, Ianto Jones!
Jack: You know, you never really mastered that temptation spiel.
Captain John Hart: It's not a spiel. It's fact.
Jack: Move on! Here I am with a new life, and you're still churning out the same old tunes. And sorry, but they don't play as well now you're looking a little bit older. And what are they, wrinkles around your eyes?
Captain John Hart: Laugh lines.
Jack: Oh, hell of a good joke.
Captain John Hart: It's you I'm laughing at.
Captain John Hart: Pretty and resilient. It's not even fair.
Gwen: Maybe you didn't realise. You can beat, shoot, threaten, and even poison us and we'll keep coming back, stronger every time.
Captain John Hart: Well, I think you ought to know, your boss is splayed out on the... (Jack walks in) ...pavement. Now, that's impressive. Seriously, you could earn a fortune in the Vegas galaxies with an act like that. Go on, how's it work?
Jack: I can't die.
Captain John Hart: No, but really.
Jack: No, but really. You can't kill me. No matter how many times you try, I cant die, ever.
Captain John Hart: But what does it cost you? Every time you have to drag yourself back here, how does it feel? All that pain and trauma. Plus, you're reborn into this godforsaken mess. I pity you.
Jack: These people. This planet. All the beauty you could never see. That's what I come back for.
Captain John Hart: Well, goody on you.
Tosh: You said this was a dying woman's request.
Captain John Hart: Yeah, she was dying. I shot her.
Gwen: You are unbelievable.
Captain John Hart: And yet you still find me strangely attractive.
Captain John Hart: I think I'm starting to see what he likes about this place. She's beautiful, he's stunning...
Gwen: Don't you ever stop?
Captain John Hart: What? Five minutes to live, you want me to behave? (looking out the window) Oh, that's gorgeous!
Gwen: That's a poodle.
Captain John Hart: That's nice!
Gwen: We have to go!
Captain John Hart: No! What about a last minute rescue? What's the point of being on a team if you don't get a last minute rescue?
03 July 2013
Quotes from "End of Days"
Rhys Williams: You know, it's rude to stare.
Gwen: I thought telepathy would get you to make me a cuppa.
Rhys Williams: What's it worth?
Gwen: What do you want?
Rhys Williams: I'll draw you a diagram, shall I?
Jack: The cracks in time trace back here to the Rift. This city, this Hub, is the centre. What you’re seeing are ripples and aftershocks. The Rift is splintering because of you.
Owen: What?
Jack: You opened the Rift without knowing what you were doing. You’ve caused the temporal cracks to widen. Time is seeping through.
Owen: If it wasn’t for me, you two would still be in the 1940s. So are we going to sit around crying into our lattes, or are we are going to do something about it?
Jack: So he was on his way there, time splintered and he ends up here.
Andy: Excuse me? Hi. Any time you feel like talking sense…
Jack: That soldier came through a crack in time
Andy: He’s not serious, is he? This sort of thing just doesn’t happen. Not in Cardiff.
Jack: Just because you can’t understand it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Jack: Under any other circumstances, an exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning.
Andy: Everyone's saying it, you know. Word on the streets. Do you think this is the end of the world?
Gwen: Oh, Andy, don’t be silly. Do you think the world’s going to end on your shift?
Andy: I’ve seen you use that smile on a lot of people.
Gwen: What smile?
Andy: The smile you use to reassure people when, deep down, you know everything’s gone to shit.
Owen: People are dropping through time and they are gonna bring every disease in history through your doors. So you'd better be ready.
Tosh: Owen.
Owen: You scared enough yet? 'Cause fuck knows I am!
Owen: Who the fuck are you anyway, Jack Harkness? You don’t even exist. We’ve looked. So if you’re not even a real person, then why the hell should I follow your orders?
Jack: Get out.
Jack: You're a united front now, Toshiko, the poor girl who'll screw any passing alien that gives her a pendant. Owen, so strong he gets in a cage with a Weevil, desperate to be mauled. Ianto, hiding his cyber-girlfriend in the basement. Your three comrades here pumped bullets into her, remember?
Gwen: I've got to get Rhys back.
Jack: Yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys that you spend half your time in Owen's bed.
(Gwen punches him)
Gwen: Fuck you!
Owen: Stay down!
Jack: You wanna be in charge, Owen? You’ve got to have significantly bigger balls.
Bilis Manger: From out of the darkness, he is come.
Gwen: What is he talking about?
Bilis Manger: Son of the Great Beast, cast out before time, chained in rock and imprisoned beneath the Rift.
Gwen: What?
Bilis Manger: All hail Abaddon, the Great Devourer, come to feast on life! (Abaddon emerges) The whole world shall die beneath his shadow.
Gwen: The visions we had. We all saw people we loved. What did you see?
Jack: Nothing. There was nothing.
Gwen: Jack, what would have tempted you? What visions would've convinced you to open the Rift?
Jack: The right kind of doctor.
Owen: What’s the matter?
Gwen: He was just here. Something’s taken him. Jack’s gone.
Gwen: I thought telepathy would get you to make me a cuppa.
Rhys Williams: What's it worth?
Gwen: What do you want?
Rhys Williams: I'll draw you a diagram, shall I?
Jack: The cracks in time trace back here to the Rift. This city, this Hub, is the centre. What you’re seeing are ripples and aftershocks. The Rift is splintering because of you.
Owen: What?
Jack: You opened the Rift without knowing what you were doing. You’ve caused the temporal cracks to widen. Time is seeping through.
Owen: If it wasn’t for me, you two would still be in the 1940s. So are we going to sit around crying into our lattes, or are we are going to do something about it?
Jack: So he was on his way there, time splintered and he ends up here.
Andy: Excuse me? Hi. Any time you feel like talking sense…
Jack: That soldier came through a crack in time
Andy: He’s not serious, is he? This sort of thing just doesn’t happen. Not in Cardiff.
Jack: Just because you can’t understand it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Jack: Under any other circumstances, an exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning.
Andy: Everyone's saying it, you know. Word on the streets. Do you think this is the end of the world?
Gwen: Oh, Andy, don’t be silly. Do you think the world’s going to end on your shift?
Andy: I’ve seen you use that smile on a lot of people.
Gwen: What smile?
Andy: The smile you use to reassure people when, deep down, you know everything’s gone to shit.
Owen: People are dropping through time and they are gonna bring every disease in history through your doors. So you'd better be ready.
Tosh: Owen.
Owen: You scared enough yet? 'Cause fuck knows I am!
Owen: Who the fuck are you anyway, Jack Harkness? You don’t even exist. We’ve looked. So if you’re not even a real person, then why the hell should I follow your orders?
Jack: Get out.
Jack: You're a united front now, Toshiko, the poor girl who'll screw any passing alien that gives her a pendant. Owen, so strong he gets in a cage with a Weevil, desperate to be mauled. Ianto, hiding his cyber-girlfriend in the basement. Your three comrades here pumped bullets into her, remember?
Gwen: I've got to get Rhys back.
Jack: Yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys that you spend half your time in Owen's bed.
(Gwen punches him)
Gwen: Fuck you!
Owen: Stay down!
Jack: You wanna be in charge, Owen? You’ve got to have significantly bigger balls.
Bilis Manger: From out of the darkness, he is come.
Gwen: What is he talking about?
Bilis Manger: Son of the Great Beast, cast out before time, chained in rock and imprisoned beneath the Rift.
Gwen: What?
Bilis Manger: All hail Abaddon, the Great Devourer, come to feast on life! (Abaddon emerges) The whole world shall die beneath his shadow.
Gwen: The visions we had. We all saw people we loved. What did you see?
Jack: Nothing. There was nothing.
Gwen: Jack, what would have tempted you? What visions would've convinced you to open the Rift?
Jack: The right kind of doctor.
Owen: What’s the matter?
Gwen: He was just here. Something’s taken him. Jack’s gone.
28 June 2013
26 June 2013
Quotes from "Captain Jack Harkness"
Tosh: My grandfather’s eighty-eighth birthday today.
Jack: I thought you’d gone to all this trouble for me.
Tosh: Eighty eight is a joyous year for the Japanese. I’m off to London to watch grown men throw rice.
Jack: You can get that in the Balti after stop-tap.
Tosh: Why does that man have your name? I'm lost enough here without you holding back on me!
Jack: It's not my name. It's his. I took his. But I didn't realise he was...so hot!
Tosh: Jack?
Jack: I know too much.
Tosh: Then share.
Jack: You wouldn't want that, trust me.
Jack: I went to war when I was a boy. I was with my best friend. We got caught crossing the border over enemy lines. They tortured him, not me, because he was weaker. They made me watch him die. And they let me go.
Original Jack: Who were they?
Jack: The worst possible creatures you can imagine. I persuaded him to join up. I said it would be an adventure. He hadn't lived.
Original Jack: Have any of us?
Jack: (about Captain Harkness) Tomorrow’s their last training exercise. Just another day. They go out on a sortie and are surprised by two formations of Messerschmitts. He destroys three of the enemy. His men listen to his whoops of joy over the radio. Then it all goes quiet. He can’t bail out because his whole plane is on fire. But his men all make it back to safety.
Owen: Good job you're a crap shot.
Ianto: I was aiming for your shoulder.
Jack: I thought you’d gone to all this trouble for me.
Tosh: Eighty eight is a joyous year for the Japanese. I’m off to London to watch grown men throw rice.
Jack: You can get that in the Balti after stop-tap.
Tosh: Why does that man have your name? I'm lost enough here without you holding back on me!
Jack: It's not my name. It's his. I took his. But I didn't realise he was...so hot!
Tosh: Jack?
Jack: I know too much.
Tosh: Then share.
Jack: You wouldn't want that, trust me.
Jack: I went to war when I was a boy. I was with my best friend. We got caught crossing the border over enemy lines. They tortured him, not me, because he was weaker. They made me watch him die. And they let me go.
Original Jack: Who were they?
Jack: The worst possible creatures you can imagine. I persuaded him to join up. I said it would be an adventure. He hadn't lived.
Original Jack: Have any of us?
Jack: (about Captain Harkness) Tomorrow’s their last training exercise. Just another day. They go out on a sortie and are surprised by two formations of Messerschmitts. He destroys three of the enemy. His men listen to his whoops of joy over the radio. Then it all goes quiet. He can’t bail out because his whole plane is on fire. But his men all make it back to safety.
Owen: Good job you're a crap shot.
Ianto: I was aiming for your shoulder.
19 June 2013
Quotes from "Combat"
Owen: Trust me, the bigger the crowd, the more alone I feel.
Jack: You know what they used these warehouses for during World War II? Storing the bodies of dead GIs. Sometimes you can know too much history.
Caller: Don’t interfere in things you don’t understand.
Jack: Oh, I understand this better than you. ‘Cause I know how this is going to end. We’re gonna hunt you down. We’re going to ensure that you’re punished for what happened here. And we’re going to make you surrender that creature that you kidnapped. Is that clear enough?
Gwen: The shittiest part about being a police officer and I can't get away from it. (Owen ignores her) Thank you for your kind words of support.
Owen: What do you want me to say? She'll be all right in the end?
Gwen: "You can always count on Owen, to make you feel better." Tosh mentioned you and Diane. Did you...
Owen: .I didn't want her to go. She went.
Gwen: Why are we still doing this, me and you?
Owen: Fine. Let's not. I was getting bored of your fuck-tricks anyway.
Gwen: You can be such a wanker sometimes Owen, do you know that?
Owen: I do, as a matter of fact!
Jack: In your absence, Toshiko’s had a great idea.
Owen: Well, it had to happen sooner or later.
Tosh: You want to release a Weevil in the middle of Cardiff!
Jack: Not exactly in the middle, a little to the side.
Mark Lynch: You work yourself stupid, get a house, a car, plasma screen. You end up with a workforce, people there specifically to look after your every whim. You’re officially successful, but what does it bring? Nothing. Success has no worth other than itself. Seriously, I could live without all this. It doesn’t define me.
Mark Lynch: Ask yourself, what’s the point of your life?
Owen: Mark, mate, I only came here for a beer.
Mark Lynch: There’s so much more, if you know where to look.
Owen: Is that right?
Mark Lynch: It’s closer than you think. Something’s coming. Out there, in the darkness, something is coming.
Mark Lynch: (about a Weevil) I think it’s us, Owen. You and me, in a thousand years time. This is what we become when all we have left is our rage.
Owen: Who are these blokes?
Mark Lynch: Same as us. Ordinary blokes just trying to find meaning in a world that doesn’t have anyone.
Owen: You don’t really believe that, do you?
Mark Lynch: We’re the dispossessed now, Owen. All the certainties our fathers had are gone. We’re a generation of no faith. In society, in religion, or in life. All we can do is reduce ourselves to the basics.
Owen: So these guys are paying to put their lives at risk?
Mark Lynch: It's the ultimate extreme sport. Too much disposable income, not enough meaning,. That's us.
Owen: So what about Dan Hodges, Mark?
Mark Lynch: He wouldn't come out. Just stood in the middle of the cage and let it maul him. I think he got in there and he realised he didn't want to live enough. He surrendered. None of us could get to him in time.
Owen: And still you all come back.
Mark Lynch: Well, what else is there?
Mark Lynch: When you get in there, when you’re up close with it, take a look into its eyes.
Owen: Open the door!
Mark Lynch: It’s like looking into the darkest recesses of your own soul.
Jack: You know what they used these warehouses for during World War II? Storing the bodies of dead GIs. Sometimes you can know too much history.
Caller: Don’t interfere in things you don’t understand.
Jack: Oh, I understand this better than you. ‘Cause I know how this is going to end. We’re gonna hunt you down. We’re going to ensure that you’re punished for what happened here. And we’re going to make you surrender that creature that you kidnapped. Is that clear enough?
Gwen: The shittiest part about being a police officer and I can't get away from it. (Owen ignores her) Thank you for your kind words of support.
Owen: What do you want me to say? She'll be all right in the end?
Gwen: "You can always count on Owen, to make you feel better." Tosh mentioned you and Diane. Did you...
Owen: .I didn't want her to go. She went.
Gwen: Why are we still doing this, me and you?
Owen: Fine. Let's not. I was getting bored of your fuck-tricks anyway.
Gwen: You can be such a wanker sometimes Owen, do you know that?
Owen: I do, as a matter of fact!
Jack: In your absence, Toshiko’s had a great idea.
Owen: Well, it had to happen sooner or later.
Tosh: You want to release a Weevil in the middle of Cardiff!
Jack: Not exactly in the middle, a little to the side.
Mark Lynch: You work yourself stupid, get a house, a car, plasma screen. You end up with a workforce, people there specifically to look after your every whim. You’re officially successful, but what does it bring? Nothing. Success has no worth other than itself. Seriously, I could live without all this. It doesn’t define me.
Mark Lynch: Ask yourself, what’s the point of your life?
Owen: Mark, mate, I only came here for a beer.
Mark Lynch: There’s so much more, if you know where to look.
Owen: Is that right?
Mark Lynch: It’s closer than you think. Something’s coming. Out there, in the darkness, something is coming.
Mark Lynch: (about a Weevil) I think it’s us, Owen. You and me, in a thousand years time. This is what we become when all we have left is our rage.
Owen: Who are these blokes?
Mark Lynch: Same as us. Ordinary blokes just trying to find meaning in a world that doesn’t have anyone.
Owen: You don’t really believe that, do you?
Mark Lynch: We’re the dispossessed now, Owen. All the certainties our fathers had are gone. We’re a generation of no faith. In society, in religion, or in life. All we can do is reduce ourselves to the basics.
Owen: So these guys are paying to put their lives at risk?
Mark Lynch: It's the ultimate extreme sport. Too much disposable income, not enough meaning,. That's us.
Owen: So what about Dan Hodges, Mark?
Mark Lynch: He wouldn't come out. Just stood in the middle of the cage and let it maul him. I think he got in there and he realised he didn't want to live enough. He surrendered. None of us could get to him in time.
Owen: And still you all come back.
Mark Lynch: Well, what else is there?
Mark Lynch: When you get in there, when you’re up close with it, take a look into its eyes.
Owen: Open the door!
Mark Lynch: It’s like looking into the darkest recesses of your own soul.
05 June 2013
Quotes from "Random Shoes"
(Opening Voiceover)
Eugene Jones: The speed of light is 299,792,458 metres per second. Pain travels through the body at 350 feet per second. Even a sneeze can reach a hundred miles per hour. And as for life? Well... that just bloody whizzes by.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: Now I had the eye and what I realised was if it fell from the sky, it probably, no, no, it almost certainly belonged to an alien. That was the night Dad went away. But it was okay, because I had the eye and the possibility of an alien encounter. I mean, if you leave something really important behind, you come back and get it. Don’t you? God, I wanted that alien to come back and claim his eye more than I wanted anything in my life. I worked out the possible provenance, the lifeform and galaxy, planetary escape velocities, launch windows, necessary fuel capacities and then, I waited.
Gwen: What was (Eugene) doing out on that road?
Owen: Oh, fuck knows. Categorising chevrons? He was a geek.
Gwen: Do you think Eugene committed suicide?
Tosh: There was a road accident and there was no alien involvement
Gwen: See, I'm not so sure because... something seems really odd. I mean I just, I just feel that there's something going on.
Owen: Marvelous, thank you for that Disney moment, now who's making the tea?
Gwen: Yeah well I suppose Eugene's a bit ordinary and local and amateur for you, Owen.
Owen: And why is that only Gwen seems to have a heart, yeah I dunno if you've noticed but the rest of us are human and amazingly we still manage to get on with our jobs
Josh: No disrespect, but Eugene had "loser" written through him like Brighton in a stick of rock. Maybe he just couldn’t live with his... failure.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: Failure? Is that right? Has my life just been one big failure? I mean, maybe I never quite lived up to my early promise as a maths genius but that’s because I was waiting. For the alien to collect his eye and change my life.
Terry: (Eugene) may have been able to square the root of the frigging root, but he couldn't cross the frigging road.
Gwen: What exactly is, uh, a Sixth Eye, I mean, exactly?
Jack: It’s one in the back. Lets you see behind you, where you’ve been. Kind of puts things in perspective. It’s useful, fun, slightly terrifying. That’s why they were in demand.
Josh: I checked the bid history; Mr. C. Blackstaff is a collector of alien ephemera and Nazi memorabilia. Also Beanie Babies. Teeny bit cuckoo, but endearingly rich.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: All those cars. All those lives moving through space. All that humanity whizzing by in a frenzy of burgers and chips, Bank Holiday fun, burst tyres, screaming kids, sudden heart attacks. Now I remember. Apart from a buzzing in my ear, where Josh whacked me, I felt good. I was running across a field on a Saturday morning, the smell of exhaust and banana milkshake, a slight nausea, heart beating too fast 'cause I wasn't that fit; all the stuff that tells you you're alive. By rights, I should be well pissed off. My mates had cheated on me and I didn’t get to meet any aliens. But I realised that when I swallowed the eye at the Happy Cook, I was given a chance to look back on my life and see it for what it really was.
Eugene: You know, twenty-eight is one of those perfect numbers. It’s equal to the sum of its divisors. I’m twenty-eight. I was twenty-eight. I think I’m going to have to go soon, Gwen.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: In an average lifetime, the human heart will beat two million times. You’ll produce over eight thousand gallons of saliva and grow three-hundred-and-fifty miles of hair. You’ll eat the equivalent in weight of six elephants. Oh, isn’t life amazing?
(Voiceover)
Eugene: The average life is full of near misses and absolute hits, of great love and small disasters. It's made up of banana milkshakes, loft insulation, and random shoes. It's dead ordinary and truly truly amazing. What you've got to realise is it's all here now. So breathe deep and swallow it whole because take it from me, life just whizzes by.
Eugene Jones: The speed of light is 299,792,458 metres per second. Pain travels through the body at 350 feet per second. Even a sneeze can reach a hundred miles per hour. And as for life? Well... that just bloody whizzes by.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: Now I had the eye and what I realised was if it fell from the sky, it probably, no, no, it almost certainly belonged to an alien. That was the night Dad went away. But it was okay, because I had the eye and the possibility of an alien encounter. I mean, if you leave something really important behind, you come back and get it. Don’t you? God, I wanted that alien to come back and claim his eye more than I wanted anything in my life. I worked out the possible provenance, the lifeform and galaxy, planetary escape velocities, launch windows, necessary fuel capacities and then, I waited.
Gwen: What was (Eugene) doing out on that road?
Owen: Oh, fuck knows. Categorising chevrons? He was a geek.
Gwen: Do you think Eugene committed suicide?
Tosh: There was a road accident and there was no alien involvement
Gwen: See, I'm not so sure because... something seems really odd. I mean I just, I just feel that there's something going on.
Owen: Marvelous, thank you for that Disney moment, now who's making the tea?
Gwen: Yeah well I suppose Eugene's a bit ordinary and local and amateur for you, Owen.
Owen: And why is that only Gwen seems to have a heart, yeah I dunno if you've noticed but the rest of us are human and amazingly we still manage to get on with our jobs
Josh: No disrespect, but Eugene had "loser" written through him like Brighton in a stick of rock. Maybe he just couldn’t live with his... failure.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: Failure? Is that right? Has my life just been one big failure? I mean, maybe I never quite lived up to my early promise as a maths genius but that’s because I was waiting. For the alien to collect his eye and change my life.
Terry: (Eugene) may have been able to square the root of the frigging root, but he couldn't cross the frigging road.
Gwen: What exactly is, uh, a Sixth Eye, I mean, exactly?
Jack: It’s one in the back. Lets you see behind you, where you’ve been. Kind of puts things in perspective. It’s useful, fun, slightly terrifying. That’s why they were in demand.
Josh: I checked the bid history; Mr. C. Blackstaff is a collector of alien ephemera and Nazi memorabilia. Also Beanie Babies. Teeny bit cuckoo, but endearingly rich.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: All those cars. All those lives moving through space. All that humanity whizzing by in a frenzy of burgers and chips, Bank Holiday fun, burst tyres, screaming kids, sudden heart attacks. Now I remember. Apart from a buzzing in my ear, where Josh whacked me, I felt good. I was running across a field on a Saturday morning, the smell of exhaust and banana milkshake, a slight nausea, heart beating too fast 'cause I wasn't that fit; all the stuff that tells you you're alive. By rights, I should be well pissed off. My mates had cheated on me and I didn’t get to meet any aliens. But I realised that when I swallowed the eye at the Happy Cook, I was given a chance to look back on my life and see it for what it really was.
Eugene: You know, twenty-eight is one of those perfect numbers. It’s equal to the sum of its divisors. I’m twenty-eight. I was twenty-eight. I think I’m going to have to go soon, Gwen.
(Voiceover)
Eugene: In an average lifetime, the human heart will beat two million times. You’ll produce over eight thousand gallons of saliva and grow three-hundred-and-fifty miles of hair. You’ll eat the equivalent in weight of six elephants. Oh, isn’t life amazing?
(Voiceover)
Eugene: The average life is full of near misses and absolute hits, of great love and small disasters. It's made up of banana milkshakes, loft insulation, and random shoes. It's dead ordinary and truly truly amazing. What you've got to realise is it's all here now. So breathe deep and swallow it whole because take it from me, life just whizzes by.
29 May 2013
Quotes from "They keep killing Suzie"
Swanson: Are you always this dressy, for a murder investigation?
Jack: What, you rather me naked?
Swanson: God help me; the stories are true.
("Torchwood" is written in blood at a murder scene)
Swanson: Looks like somebody wants your attention.
Jack: They’ve got it.
Owen: Still, at least we've got a head start. If it’s someone we’ve pissed off, that narrows it down to, oh, four or five million.
Jack: And that’s just the humans.
Jack: Ianto, how many people have we given amnesia pills to?
Ianto: Two thousand and eight.
Owen: Hey, what if they all become psychotic?
Tosh: Do you have to sound so happy?
Owen: You know, we never gave it a cool name.
Tosh: I thought we called it the Resurrection Gauntlet.
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about...the Risen Mitten?
(Jack and Owen both look less than impressed)
Ianto: I think it's catchy.
Ianto: Amazing. She's a natural - 24 seconds.
Owen: Give Ianto a stopwatch and he's happy.
Ianto: It's the button on the top.
Gwen: Have I got this right? When I die, you get to keep all of my possessions? My whole life's gonna get stashed in a locker?
Jack: Rules and regulations.
Gwen: What if I leave all my stuff to Rhys?
Jack: We'll stash him away too.
Suzie: It's my fault, isn't it? It never bloody stops being my fault. Can't you just let me die?
Jack: You don't get off that easy.
Jack: I had a boyfriend who used to walk into rooms like that. The grand entrance. Got kind of boring. Though he was one of twins, so I put up with it. Twin acrobats. Man, I gotta write that book. Maybe even illustrate it. I can talk for a long time, a very long time…
Suzie: That night, my last night on Earth - so I thought - before I shot myself, I shot Jack right through the head. I killed him, stone dead. And then he just stood up and lived. Am I right? Did that happen? Gwen?
Gwen: Yes, it did.
Suzie: So he can survive a bullet through the head?
Gwen: Yes.
Suzie: How?
Gwen: I don't know. He won't explain it properly. He said something happened to him a while back. He said, he said he can't die. Not ever.
Suzie: And he makes judgements about whether I'm allowed to live. It's all very easy for Captain Jack, isn’t it?
Suzie: We're just animals howling in the night, cause it's better than silence.
Jack: Why are you doing this?
Suzie: Because life is all, Jack. You should know! I’d do anything to stay. Anything.
Suzie: Captain, my Captain. Do you want to know a secret? There’s something moving in the dark and it’s coming, Jack Harkness, it’s coming for you.
Ianto: If you're interested, I've still got that stopwatch.
Jack: So?
Ianto: Well. Think about it. Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.
Jack: Oh yeah! I could think of a few.
Ianto: There's quite a list.
Jack: I'll send the others home early. See you in my office in ten.
Ianto: That's ten minutes and counting.
Ianto: What do you want me to say on the death certificate?
Jack: Good question.
Ianto: She had quite a few deaths in the end.
Jack: I don’t know. "Death by Torchwood".
Ianto: That's the thing about gloves - they come in pairs...
Jack: What, you rather me naked?
Swanson: God help me; the stories are true.
("Torchwood" is written in blood at a murder scene)
Swanson: Looks like somebody wants your attention.
Jack: They’ve got it.
Owen: Still, at least we've got a head start. If it’s someone we’ve pissed off, that narrows it down to, oh, four or five million.
Jack: And that’s just the humans.
Jack: Ianto, how many people have we given amnesia pills to?
Ianto: Two thousand and eight.
Owen: Hey, what if they all become psychotic?
Tosh: Do you have to sound so happy?
Owen: You know, we never gave it a cool name.
Tosh: I thought we called it the Resurrection Gauntlet.
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about...the Risen Mitten?
(Jack and Owen both look less than impressed)
Ianto: I think it's catchy.
Ianto: Amazing. She's a natural - 24 seconds.
Owen: Give Ianto a stopwatch and he's happy.
Ianto: It's the button on the top.
Gwen: Have I got this right? When I die, you get to keep all of my possessions? My whole life's gonna get stashed in a locker?
Jack: Rules and regulations.
Gwen: What if I leave all my stuff to Rhys?
Jack: We'll stash him away too.
Suzie: It's my fault, isn't it? It never bloody stops being my fault. Can't you just let me die?
Jack: You don't get off that easy.
Jack: I had a boyfriend who used to walk into rooms like that. The grand entrance. Got kind of boring. Though he was one of twins, so I put up with it. Twin acrobats. Man, I gotta write that book. Maybe even illustrate it. I can talk for a long time, a very long time…
Suzie: That night, my last night on Earth - so I thought - before I shot myself, I shot Jack right through the head. I killed him, stone dead. And then he just stood up and lived. Am I right? Did that happen? Gwen?
Gwen: Yes, it did.
Suzie: So he can survive a bullet through the head?
Gwen: Yes.
Suzie: How?
Gwen: I don't know. He won't explain it properly. He said something happened to him a while back. He said, he said he can't die. Not ever.
Suzie: And he makes judgements about whether I'm allowed to live. It's all very easy for Captain Jack, isn’t it?
Suzie: We're just animals howling in the night, cause it's better than silence.
Jack: Why are you doing this?
Suzie: Because life is all, Jack. You should know! I’d do anything to stay. Anything.
Suzie: Captain, my Captain. Do you want to know a secret? There’s something moving in the dark and it’s coming, Jack Harkness, it’s coming for you.
Ianto: If you're interested, I've still got that stopwatch.
Jack: So?
Ianto: Well. Think about it. Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.
Jack: Oh yeah! I could think of a few.
Ianto: There's quite a list.
Jack: I'll send the others home early. See you in my office in ten.
Ianto: That's ten minutes and counting.
Ianto: What do you want me to say on the death certificate?
Jack: Good question.
Ianto: She had quite a few deaths in the end.
Jack: I don’t know. "Death by Torchwood".
Ianto: That's the thing about gloves - they come in pairs...
22 May 2013
Quotes from "Greeks Bearing Gifts"
Jack: Once, just once, I’d like to walk into one of these tents and find it’s a party, with food, and drink, and dancing; a girl crying in the corner.
(finding a skeleton)
Gwen: Any idea what it is.
Jack: Not a clue. Could be a weapon or a really big stapler. Hows our friend there?
Owen: She's dead.
Jack: Yeah, thanks, Quincy.
Gwen: (helping Owen up) Oh you're so light, you're like a girl!
Owen: I’m not light. I’m wiry. The fat girls go mad for it. But I guess I don’t need to tell you that
Owen: You know what, Tosh, sometimes I think even that stick up your arse has got a stick up its arse.
Mary: Toshiko Sato, born in London 1975, moved to Osaka when you were two then back to the UK in 1986. Parents in the RAF, Grandfather worked at Bletchley Park, very impressive. University, blah blah, snapped up by government scientist think-tank when you were twenty, recruited to Torchwood three years ago.
Tosh: What’s most amazing are the similarities with our own culture, but that can be horrible ‘cause we find lots of weapons and it just makes you think "my God, everything wages war". It’s not just a trait of ours, but a trait of existence. And it makes you feel so hopeless. But then there are times, we found this thing, it was about A4 size and it had all these symbols on it and it took me about three months to translate. It was a letter someone had written to his family; to his children to say how much he was missing them. It just made me cry because I thought, "even across these unimaginable distances, there are fundamentals that stay exactly the same". And there’s no-one to talk to about this. I mean, the guys at work, they’re great but, they don’t see it the way I do. (Pauses) I could be fired just for telling you that.
Gwen: (thinking about Tosh) Oh, sweetheart, the jeans and the boots thing has really kind of had its day.
Ianto: (thinking) Can't imagine a time when this isn't everything. Pain so constant, like my stomach's full of rats. Feels like this is all I am now. There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt. (aloud; cheerily) I’m about to brew some of Jack’s industrial strength coffee. Would you like a cup?
Tosh: I’m… fine, thanks Ianto.
Gwen: As you may remember, at the building site, Owen said that this was a woman killed by a single gunshot.
Owen: Yeah, I’d been like a minute.
Gwen: Since then he’s had to tweak some of his initial conclusions. This first being that this isn’t in fact a woman, but a man.
Owen: A young man. A very girly man.
Gwen: But, still, ultimately a man. Then there was the cause of death. Owen said GSW. The correct answer was…
Owen: Unidentified trauma. But…
Tosh: Unidentified trauma?
Gwen: You see it in RTAs. When something like a steering column or a post goes into a body at great velocity. But the one thing that could be ruled out was…
Owen: Gunshot wound.
Gwen: Gunshot wound. Was there in fact any part of your prognosis that was right?
Owen: I got that it was… a skeleton.
Owen: So I started looking into devil worship and stuff from that era, see if there’s anything about plucking out hearts. And would you believe it, there’s nothing. They ate eyeballs, they drank blood, they had sex with animals but they did not pluck out each other’s hearts, ‘cause obviously that would have been weird.
Tosh: I’m giving them the pendant.
Mary: Right, let’s...
Tosh: You’re right. It’s not like reading someone’s diary. It’s so much worse, and it makes me feel dirty and ashamed and now I’m spying on my friends.
Mary: Some friends.
Tosh: What’s that supposed to mean?
Mary: They pity you. They exclude you.
Tosh: So I’m shagging a woman and an alien.
Mary: Which is worse?
Tosh: I know which one my parents would say.
Tosh: I can’t stand it anymore. The weight of it, the depravity, the fear, it fills me up. It’s in my mouth, in my hair, my eyes, like I’m drowning in ink. And even when I don’t have the pendant on, it feels like there’s nothing, I can’t forget the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve heard. It’s like a curse, something the gods sent to drive someone mad. I had hope, I’d see something, a little random act of kindness, and make me think we were safe. Some essential good in us. There isn’t. It’s like one of the Weevils, look inside and there’s just a great chilling scream. You were right. Everything you said about us: we’re frightened and callous and I can’t be a part of it any longer. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Mary: Get me into Torchwood.
Mary: You smell... different than them.
Jack: That's nothing. It's when you compare teeth with a British guy. That's when it's really scary.
Mary: What are you?
Jack: I don't know.
Tosh: Has she gone home?
Jack: I reset the coordinates.
Tosh: Where to?
Jack: To the centre of the Sun. It shouldn't be hot, I mean, we sent her there at night and everything.
Tosh: You killed her.
Jack: Yes!
Tosh: Why couldn’t I read your mind?
Jack: I don’t know. Though I could feel you scrabbling around in there.
Tosh: I got nothing. It’s like you were… dead.
Tosh: Jack, something Mary said. Probably the only honest thing she ever did say. I asked her why she gave it to me. She said after a while, it gets to you. It changes how you see people. How can I live with it?
Jack: There are some things we’re not supposed to know. You got a snapshot, nothing more.
Tosh: I don’t mean about Gwen and Ianto and Owen. I mean, the whole world.
(finding a skeleton)
Gwen: Any idea what it is.
Jack: Not a clue. Could be a weapon or a really big stapler. Hows our friend there?
Owen: She's dead.
Jack: Yeah, thanks, Quincy.
Gwen: (helping Owen up) Oh you're so light, you're like a girl!
Owen: I’m not light. I’m wiry. The fat girls go mad for it. But I guess I don’t need to tell you that
Owen: You know what, Tosh, sometimes I think even that stick up your arse has got a stick up its arse.
Mary: Toshiko Sato, born in London 1975, moved to Osaka when you were two then back to the UK in 1986. Parents in the RAF, Grandfather worked at Bletchley Park, very impressive. University, blah blah, snapped up by government scientist think-tank when you were twenty, recruited to Torchwood three years ago.
Tosh: What’s most amazing are the similarities with our own culture, but that can be horrible ‘cause we find lots of weapons and it just makes you think "my God, everything wages war". It’s not just a trait of ours, but a trait of existence. And it makes you feel so hopeless. But then there are times, we found this thing, it was about A4 size and it had all these symbols on it and it took me about three months to translate. It was a letter someone had written to his family; to his children to say how much he was missing them. It just made me cry because I thought, "even across these unimaginable distances, there are fundamentals that stay exactly the same". And there’s no-one to talk to about this. I mean, the guys at work, they’re great but, they don’t see it the way I do. (Pauses) I could be fired just for telling you that.
Gwen: (thinking about Tosh) Oh, sweetheart, the jeans and the boots thing has really kind of had its day.
Ianto: (thinking) Can't imagine a time when this isn't everything. Pain so constant, like my stomach's full of rats. Feels like this is all I am now. There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt. (aloud; cheerily) I’m about to brew some of Jack’s industrial strength coffee. Would you like a cup?
Tosh: I’m… fine, thanks Ianto.
Gwen: As you may remember, at the building site, Owen said that this was a woman killed by a single gunshot.
Owen: Yeah, I’d been like a minute.
Gwen: Since then he’s had to tweak some of his initial conclusions. This first being that this isn’t in fact a woman, but a man.
Owen: A young man. A very girly man.
Gwen: But, still, ultimately a man. Then there was the cause of death. Owen said GSW. The correct answer was…
Owen: Unidentified trauma. But…
Tosh: Unidentified trauma?
Gwen: You see it in RTAs. When something like a steering column or a post goes into a body at great velocity. But the one thing that could be ruled out was…
Owen: Gunshot wound.
Gwen: Gunshot wound. Was there in fact any part of your prognosis that was right?
Owen: I got that it was… a skeleton.
Owen: So I started looking into devil worship and stuff from that era, see if there’s anything about plucking out hearts. And would you believe it, there’s nothing. They ate eyeballs, they drank blood, they had sex with animals but they did not pluck out each other’s hearts, ‘cause obviously that would have been weird.
Tosh: I’m giving them the pendant.
Mary: Right, let’s...
Tosh: You’re right. It’s not like reading someone’s diary. It’s so much worse, and it makes me feel dirty and ashamed and now I’m spying on my friends.
Mary: Some friends.
Tosh: What’s that supposed to mean?
Mary: They pity you. They exclude you.
Tosh: So I’m shagging a woman and an alien.
Mary: Which is worse?
Tosh: I know which one my parents would say.
Tosh: I can’t stand it anymore. The weight of it, the depravity, the fear, it fills me up. It’s in my mouth, in my hair, my eyes, like I’m drowning in ink. And even when I don’t have the pendant on, it feels like there’s nothing, I can’t forget the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve heard. It’s like a curse, something the gods sent to drive someone mad. I had hope, I’d see something, a little random act of kindness, and make me think we were safe. Some essential good in us. There isn’t. It’s like one of the Weevils, look inside and there’s just a great chilling scream. You were right. Everything you said about us: we’re frightened and callous and I can’t be a part of it any longer. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Mary: Get me into Torchwood.
Mary: You smell... different than them.
Jack: That's nothing. It's when you compare teeth with a British guy. That's when it's really scary.
Mary: What are you?
Jack: I don't know.
Tosh: Has she gone home?
Jack: I reset the coordinates.
Tosh: Where to?
Jack: To the centre of the Sun. It shouldn't be hot, I mean, we sent her there at night and everything.
Tosh: You killed her.
Jack: Yes!
Tosh: Why couldn’t I read your mind?
Jack: I don’t know. Though I could feel you scrabbling around in there.
Tosh: I got nothing. It’s like you were… dead.
Tosh: Jack, something Mary said. Probably the only honest thing she ever did say. I asked her why she gave it to me. She said after a while, it gets to you. It changes how you see people. How can I live with it?
Jack: There are some things we’re not supposed to know. You got a snapshot, nothing more.
Tosh: I don’t mean about Gwen and Ianto and Owen. I mean, the whole world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)