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31 January 2014
29 January 2014
Quotes from "The Rings of Akhaten"
Ellie: You kept it.
Dave: Of course I kept it.
Ellie: Why?
Dave: Cause this exact leaf had to grow in that exact way, in that exact place, so that precise wind could tear it from that precise branch and make it fly into this exact face, at that exact moment. And if just one of those tiny little things had never happened, I'd never have met you. Which makes this the most important leaf in human history.
Clara: I've never been here before. I've never been anywhere like it before. I just saw a little girl who looked like she needed help.
Merry: Really?
Clara: Really really.
Merry: Can you help me?
Clara: That's why I'm still here.
Clara: Why are we walking away? We can't just walk away. This is my fault, I talked her into doing this.
The Doctor: Listen. There is one thing you need to know about travelling with me. Well, one thing apart from the blue box and the two hearts. We don't walk away.
The Doctor: Okay. Let me go.
Clara: I can't.
The Doctor: Try, you have to.
Clara: Why?
The Doctor: Because it really hurts.
The Doctor: Oh, that is interesting. A frequency-modulated acoustic lock. The key changes ten million zillion squillion times a second.
Clara: Can you open it?
The Doctor: Technically, no. In reality, also no. But still, let's give it a stab.
Clara: Did you just lock us in?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: With a soul-eating monster?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: Is there actually a way to get out?
The Doctor: What, before it eats our souls?
Clara: Ideally, yeah.
The Doctor: Possibly. Probably. There usually seems to be.
Clara: Stop it, you're scaring her.
The Doctor: Good, she should be scared. She's sacrificing herself, she should know what that means. Do you know what that means, Merry?
Merry: A god chose me.
The Doctor: It's not a god. It'll feed on your soul but that doesn't make it a god.
The Doctor: Hey, do you mind if I tell you a story, one you might not have heard? All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago in the heart of a faraway star that exploded and died. that explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. Until eventually they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one Merry Galel. And there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice. It is a waste.
Clara: You're going to fight it, aren't you?
The Doctor: Regrettably, yes, I think I may be about to do that.
Clara: It's really big.
The Doctor: I've seen bigger.
Clara: Really?
The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive.
Clara: What about that stuff you said? "We don't walk away."
The Doctor: No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding onto something precious, we run. We run and run fast as we can and we don't stop running until we are out from under the shadow.
The Doctor: I have lived a long life and I have seen a few things. I walked away from the last great Time War, I marked the passing of the Time Lords, I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment until nothing remained. No time, no space, just me. I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a madman. I watched universes freeze and creations burn. I have seen things you wouldn’t believe. I have lost things you will never understand. And I know things, secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken… knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze! So come on then! Take it!
Clara: This, the most important leaf in human history. The most important leaf in human history. It's full of stories, full of history, and full of a future that never got lived. Days that should have been but never were... passed on to me. This leaf isn't just the past, it's a whole future that never happened. There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live, an infinity, all the days that never came.
The Doctor: Because there's quite a difference, isn't there, between what was and what should have been. There's an awful lot of one, but there's an infinity of the other. And infinity is too much...
Dave: Of course I kept it.
Ellie: Why?
Dave: Cause this exact leaf had to grow in that exact way, in that exact place, so that precise wind could tear it from that precise branch and make it fly into this exact face, at that exact moment. And if just one of those tiny little things had never happened, I'd never have met you. Which makes this the most important leaf in human history.
Clara: I've never been here before. I've never been anywhere like it before. I just saw a little girl who looked like she needed help.
Merry: Really?
Clara: Really really.
Merry: Can you help me?
Clara: That's why I'm still here.
Clara: Why are we walking away? We can't just walk away. This is my fault, I talked her into doing this.
The Doctor: Listen. There is one thing you need to know about travelling with me. Well, one thing apart from the blue box and the two hearts. We don't walk away.
The Doctor: Okay. Let me go.
Clara: I can't.
The Doctor: Try, you have to.
Clara: Why?
The Doctor: Because it really hurts.
The Doctor: Oh, that is interesting. A frequency-modulated acoustic lock. The key changes ten million zillion squillion times a second.
Clara: Can you open it?
The Doctor: Technically, no. In reality, also no. But still, let's give it a stab.
Clara: Did you just lock us in?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: With a soul-eating monster?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: Is there actually a way to get out?
The Doctor: What, before it eats our souls?
Clara: Ideally, yeah.
The Doctor: Possibly. Probably. There usually seems to be.
Clara: Stop it, you're scaring her.
The Doctor: Good, she should be scared. She's sacrificing herself, she should know what that means. Do you know what that means, Merry?
Merry: A god chose me.
The Doctor: It's not a god. It'll feed on your soul but that doesn't make it a god.
The Doctor: Hey, do you mind if I tell you a story, one you might not have heard? All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago in the heart of a faraway star that exploded and died. that explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. Until eventually they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one Merry Galel. And there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice. It is a waste.
Clara: You're going to fight it, aren't you?
The Doctor: Regrettably, yes, I think I may be about to do that.
Clara: It's really big.
The Doctor: I've seen bigger.
Clara: Really?
The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive.
Clara: What about that stuff you said? "We don't walk away."
The Doctor: No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding onto something precious, we run. We run and run fast as we can and we don't stop running until we are out from under the shadow.
The Doctor: I have lived a long life and I have seen a few things. I walked away from the last great Time War, I marked the passing of the Time Lords, I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment until nothing remained. No time, no space, just me. I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a madman. I watched universes freeze and creations burn. I have seen things you wouldn’t believe. I have lost things you will never understand. And I know things, secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken… knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze! So come on then! Take it!
Clara: This, the most important leaf in human history. The most important leaf in human history. It's full of stories, full of history, and full of a future that never got lived. Days that should have been but never were... passed on to me. This leaf isn't just the past, it's a whole future that never happened. There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live, an infinity, all the days that never came.
The Doctor: Because there's quite a difference, isn't there, between what was and what should have been. There's an awful lot of one, but there's an infinity of the other. And infinity is too much...
26 January 2014
24 January 2014
Doctor's Girls
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22 January 2014
Quotes from "The Bells of Saint John"
Paul: Is it an evil spirit?
The Doctor: It's a woman. (Paul crosses himself)
Clara: Who are you?
The Doctor: The Doctor. No? The Doctor?
Clara: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Who. Just the Doctor. Actually, sorry, could you just ask me that again?
Clara: Could I what?
The Doctor: Could you just ask me that question?
Clara: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Okay, just once more.
Clara: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Oooh, yeah. Oooh. Do you know, I never realized how much I enjoy hearing that said out loud. Thank you.
Miss Kizlet: I'm ever so fond of Alexei, but my conscience says that we should probably kill him.
Mahler: I'll inform HR.
Miss Kizlet: Actually, he's about to go on holiday. Kill him when he gets back. Let's not be unreasonable.
Clara: How'd you get here so fast?
The Doctor: I just happened to be in the neighborhood on my mobile phone.
Clara: When you say "mobile phone," why do you point at that blue box?
The Doctor: Because it's a surprisingly accurate description.
The Doctor: Right! Don't be a monk. Monks are not cool!
The Doctor: It's something in the Wi-Fi.
Clara: Okay.
The Doctor: This whole world is swimming in Wi-Fi. We're living in a Wi-Fi soup. Suppose something got inside it. Suppose there was something living in the Wi-Fi, harvesting human minds. Extracting them. Imagine that. Human souls trapped like flies in the Worldwide Web. Stuck forever. Crying out for help.
Clara: Isn't that basically Twitter?
Clara: What is going on? Is this real? Please tell me what is happening?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts, and I can't fly a plane! Can you?
Clara: No.
The Doctor: Ooh, fine. Well, let's do it together.
Clara: Okay, are you going to explain to me what the hell's going on?
The Doctor: It's breakfast.
Clara: What? I ain't waiting until breakfast.
The Doctor: It's a time machine. You never have to wait for breakfast.
Clara: So what happens if you do find them? What happens then?
The Doctor: I don't know. I can't tell the future, I just work there.
Clara: You don't have a plan?
The Doctor: Oh, you know what I always say about plans.
Clara: What?
The Doctor: I don't have one.
Clara: I have insane hacking skills.
The Doctor: I'm from space, and the future, with two hearts and... 27 brains.
Miss Kizlet: The people of this world are in no danger whatsoever. My client requires a steady diet of living human minds. Healthy, free-range human minds. He loves and cares for humanity. In fact, he can't get enough of it.
The Doctor: It's obscene. It's murder.
Miss Kizlet: It's life. The farmer tends his flock like a loving parent. The abattoir is not a contradiction--no one loves cattle like Burger King.
The Doctor: It's a woman. (Paul crosses himself)
Clara: Who are you?
The Doctor: The Doctor. No? The Doctor?
Clara: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Who. Just the Doctor. Actually, sorry, could you just ask me that again?
Clara: Could I what?
The Doctor: Could you just ask me that question?
Clara: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Okay, just once more.
Clara: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Oooh, yeah. Oooh. Do you know, I never realized how much I enjoy hearing that said out loud. Thank you.
Miss Kizlet: I'm ever so fond of Alexei, but my conscience says that we should probably kill him.
Mahler: I'll inform HR.
Miss Kizlet: Actually, he's about to go on holiday. Kill him when he gets back. Let's not be unreasonable.
Clara: How'd you get here so fast?
The Doctor: I just happened to be in the neighborhood on my mobile phone.
Clara: When you say "mobile phone," why do you point at that blue box?
The Doctor: Because it's a surprisingly accurate description.
The Doctor: Right! Don't be a monk. Monks are not cool!
The Doctor: It's something in the Wi-Fi.
Clara: Okay.
The Doctor: This whole world is swimming in Wi-Fi. We're living in a Wi-Fi soup. Suppose something got inside it. Suppose there was something living in the Wi-Fi, harvesting human minds. Extracting them. Imagine that. Human souls trapped like flies in the Worldwide Web. Stuck forever. Crying out for help.
Clara: Isn't that basically Twitter?
Clara: What is going on? Is this real? Please tell me what is happening?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts, and I can't fly a plane! Can you?
Clara: No.
The Doctor: Ooh, fine. Well, let's do it together.
Clara: Okay, are you going to explain to me what the hell's going on?
The Doctor: It's breakfast.
Clara: What? I ain't waiting until breakfast.
The Doctor: It's a time machine. You never have to wait for breakfast.
Clara: So what happens if you do find them? What happens then?
The Doctor: I don't know. I can't tell the future, I just work there.
Clara: You don't have a plan?
The Doctor: Oh, you know what I always say about plans.
Clara: What?
The Doctor: I don't have one.
Clara: I have insane hacking skills.
The Doctor: I'm from space, and the future, with two hearts and... 27 brains.
Miss Kizlet: The people of this world are in no danger whatsoever. My client requires a steady diet of living human minds. Healthy, free-range human minds. He loves and cares for humanity. In fact, he can't get enough of it.
The Doctor: It's obscene. It's murder.
Miss Kizlet: It's life. The farmer tends his flock like a loving parent. The abattoir is not a contradiction--no one loves cattle like Burger King.
20 January 2014
19 January 2014
17 January 2014
15 January 2014
Quotes from "The Blood Line"
Gwen: When I was about 5 or 6, my dad came home from work early. And I knew there was something wrong, I could hear voices from the kitchen. So I looked through the door and I could see him crying. Turned out money'd gone missing from work and he got the blame. So I went to get all my pocket money and I put it in his hand. Must have been about two pound fifty. He looked at me and said it wasn't about the money. He said "I can't stand anyone thinking I'm not an honest man," and I've always remembered that. Always. Because that was the first time in my life anybody had spoken to me like an adult. And then we went to the back garden and we played until dark. So that's my dad. Geraint Wynn Cooper, the nicest man in the world. And today's the day that I kill him.
Oswald: Who are you?
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness.
Oswald: No. I spent a long time in prison. And I know the smile of a man who's done terrible things. And your friends. I've been watching them. Sometimes they like you, sometimes they love you... and sometimes once or twice, fluttering away in those tiny little gaps, they fear you.
Jack: I'm from the future.
Oswald: Well, now.
Jack: I come from the future.
Oswald: Then you must know. Do we make it through this day?
Jack: The future can change. It's being written right now. One thing I do know. I've seen the stars. I have seen the universe. I have seen the human race become vast and magnificent and endless. And I wish you could see it, Oswald. I wish you could see that, too. Because then you'd know how small you've made your life.
Gwen: It's me. Still alive.
Rhys: You'd better be or there'll be trouble. Anwen says hello.
Gwen: No she doesn't. She's tiny, she hasn't a clue.
Rhys: It's okay.
Gwen: Sorry.
Mother Colasanto: It is said that it reflects your own self back at you. What can you see?
Gwen: Enough guilt to last me a lifetime. But that's okay, I'm a working mother, I don't need the Blessing to tell me that.
Gwen: But you ruined the world out there.
Mother Colasanto: The Miracle shocked the economy, the economy collapsed. We tear down in order to rebuild. Now it's almost within sight. A new world.
Gwen: Yeah, with no room for the poor or the weak or the ones who don't fit in.
Mother Colasanto: It's the way the world works now, we're just making it official.
Mother Colasanto: You'll both die, gentlemen. You'll both kill yourselves. You'll die in a pit in Shanghai. Is that what you want?
Jack: I think I've lived long enough.
Gwen: But Rex, we've got to do this. And I'm gonna to tell you why. Because I'm standing here and I'm staring at Oswald Danes. And he chose when that girl lived and he chose when that girl died. And no one should have that power. Not the rich, not the mad, not anyone.
Oswald: You're choosing now.
Gwen: Yeah, you watch me.
Oswald: You'll kill Jack and Rex and that girl Esther--all of your Torchwood team. You'll kill them all.
Gwen: Yeah. Yeah.
Oswald: You are magnificent!
Gwen: And that's what I did. In a pit in old Shanghai I brought death back to the world. They said it was like a breath, a breath that went around the whole wide world. The last breath. And then no more. We said goodbye to them then--the dads and the moms, the sick and the old, the friends and the neighbors... and the people we once met. And the people whose names we never knew. We said goodbye to them all on the day that death came back.
Oswald: Oh, soon I'll see her!
Mother Colasanto: You won't see anybody, Danes, you're going to Hell, Danes!
Oswald: That's where they go. All the bad little girls, they run straight to Hell. And I'm following!
Jack: Lucky she got a full service. There's ten funerals every hour these days. Catching up with the backlog.
Rhys: Well, that'll make us all feel better.
Oswald: Who are you?
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness.
Oswald: No. I spent a long time in prison. And I know the smile of a man who's done terrible things. And your friends. I've been watching them. Sometimes they like you, sometimes they love you... and sometimes once or twice, fluttering away in those tiny little gaps, they fear you.
Jack: I'm from the future.
Oswald: Well, now.
Jack: I come from the future.
Oswald: Then you must know. Do we make it through this day?
Jack: The future can change. It's being written right now. One thing I do know. I've seen the stars. I have seen the universe. I have seen the human race become vast and magnificent and endless. And I wish you could see it, Oswald. I wish you could see that, too. Because then you'd know how small you've made your life.
Gwen: It's me. Still alive.
Rhys: You'd better be or there'll be trouble. Anwen says hello.
Gwen: No she doesn't. She's tiny, she hasn't a clue.
Rhys: It's okay.
Gwen: Sorry.
Mother Colasanto: It is said that it reflects your own self back at you. What can you see?
Gwen: Enough guilt to last me a lifetime. But that's okay, I'm a working mother, I don't need the Blessing to tell me that.
Gwen: But you ruined the world out there.
Mother Colasanto: The Miracle shocked the economy, the economy collapsed. We tear down in order to rebuild. Now it's almost within sight. A new world.
Gwen: Yeah, with no room for the poor or the weak or the ones who don't fit in.
Mother Colasanto: It's the way the world works now, we're just making it official.
Mother Colasanto: You'll both die, gentlemen. You'll both kill yourselves. You'll die in a pit in Shanghai. Is that what you want?
Jack: I think I've lived long enough.
Gwen: But Rex, we've got to do this. And I'm gonna to tell you why. Because I'm standing here and I'm staring at Oswald Danes. And he chose when that girl lived and he chose when that girl died. And no one should have that power. Not the rich, not the mad, not anyone.
Oswald: You're choosing now.
Gwen: Yeah, you watch me.
Oswald: You'll kill Jack and Rex and that girl Esther--all of your Torchwood team. You'll kill them all.
Gwen: Yeah. Yeah.
Oswald: You are magnificent!
Gwen: And that's what I did. In a pit in old Shanghai I brought death back to the world. They said it was like a breath, a breath that went around the whole wide world. The last breath. And then no more. We said goodbye to them then--the dads and the moms, the sick and the old, the friends and the neighbors... and the people we once met. And the people whose names we never knew. We said goodbye to them all on the day that death came back.
Oswald: Oh, soon I'll see her!
Mother Colasanto: You won't see anybody, Danes, you're going to Hell, Danes!
Oswald: That's where they go. All the bad little girls, they run straight to Hell. And I'm following!
Jack: Lucky she got a full service. There's ten funerals every hour these days. Catching up with the backlog.
Rhys: Well, that'll make us all feel better.
12 January 2014
10 January 2014
08 January 2014
Quotes from "The Gathering"
Rhys: Oh, and Iris Price called by. She was looking for painkillers.
Gwen: She gets a bloody headache and expects to go to the top of the list. Tell her she can have them if she pays double.
Rhys: That's the same policy as PhiCorp.
Gwen: Thanks for that. Thanks a lot.
Rex: Sir, I should tell you that smoking is still illegal inside.
Allen Shapiro: It can't kill you. Not anymore.
Rex: But they still haven't changed the building's insurance.
Allen Shapiro: Insurance companies went bust along with half the Western world. Oh, did I tell you? Gas allowances have been halved. You are way over limit.
Rex: For the past two months, every move we make we get blocked.
Allen Shapiro: Yeah, well, I wish it were me. Then you could shoot me and I could sleep.
Rex: Yeah, I'd like that very much, sir.
Allen Shapiro: The latest from the White House is that they're gonna stop all immigration. China closed its borders, now we're gonna do the same. Every passing day we are taking one step closer to a dictatorship. And we don't even know who the real dictators are.
Gwen: I want to ask one thing first. At your trial, you said about that girl, "she should should have run faster. Did you really say that?
Oswald: Yes I did.
Gwen: Right, okay. 'Cause let me tell you, Oswald, I used to be a policewoman and I worked with pedophiles and murderers, and God help me, I saw men so alone and damned and wretched. But that's not you. That's nothing like you. Because for the first time in my life, I've met a monster. Is that clear?
Oswald: I feel very special. And well said.
Gwen: She gets a bloody headache and expects to go to the top of the list. Tell her she can have them if she pays double.
Rhys: That's the same policy as PhiCorp.
Gwen: Thanks for that. Thanks a lot.
Rex: Sir, I should tell you that smoking is still illegal inside.
Allen Shapiro: It can't kill you. Not anymore.
Rex: But they still haven't changed the building's insurance.
Allen Shapiro: Insurance companies went bust along with half the Western world. Oh, did I tell you? Gas allowances have been halved. You are way over limit.
Rex: For the past two months, every move we make we get blocked.
Allen Shapiro: Yeah, well, I wish it were me. Then you could shoot me and I could sleep.
Rex: Yeah, I'd like that very much, sir.
Allen Shapiro: The latest from the White House is that they're gonna stop all immigration. China closed its borders, now we're gonna do the same. Every passing day we are taking one step closer to a dictatorship. And we don't even know who the real dictators are.
Gwen: I want to ask one thing first. At your trial, you said about that girl, "she should should have run faster. Did you really say that?
Oswald: Yes I did.
Gwen: Right, okay. 'Cause let me tell you, Oswald, I used to be a policewoman and I worked with pedophiles and murderers, and God help me, I saw men so alone and damned and wretched. But that's not you. That's nothing like you. Because for the first time in my life, I've met a monster. Is that clear?
Oswald: I feel very special. And well said.
05 January 2014
Amy/Eleven - Remember
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03 January 2014
01 January 2014
Quotes from "End of the Road"
Olivia Colasanto: He talked about you all the time, Jack. His immortal man in old New York. He never forgot.
Rex: You telling me the whole world got screwed because two gay guys had a hissy fit?
Gwen: Rex, get back in your cave.
Olivia Colasanto: You inspired him. You proved immortality was possible, and he devoted the rest of his life to finding out how to live forever.
Jack: And he did it. He's still alive, he's still young?
Olivia Colasanto: Oh yes, he's still alive. Angelo Colasanto is still alive. But he's not young. My grandfather waited all this time to live forever. And his wish came true. Too late.
Olivia Colasanto: You must be horrified.
Jack: Why would you say that?
Olivia Colasanto: He's grown so old.
Jack: That's how I see the whole world. He's still young compared to me.
Allen Shapiro: People seem to be talking over me, which is fascinating and rare. And forbidden. I'll come back to you.
Allen Shapiro: So these are the Torchwood clowns?
Gwen: Torchwood did more to piece this together than the entire C.I.A.
Allen Shapiro: You're that English girl, Cooper. Have I got that right?
Gwen: No, I'm not English and I'm not a girl.
Rex: Sir, sir, with all due respect, Gwen Cooper has proven herself to be extremely useful. I think it's worth keeping her on our side.
Allen Shapiro: Did you sleep with her?
Gwen: Pardon me?!?
Rex: No sir, I did not.
Allen Shapiro: Because most women that bitter, you slept with.
Allen Shapiro: (to Jack) And what is it with you, Red Baron? Is Snoopy up your ass? (everyone snickers)
Gwen: That's funny.
Rex: Well, Brian Friedkin's a Category 1, the economy's going into a freefall, and one man died. So, how was your day?
Noah Vickers: Welcome back, Rex. Things were kind of quiet without you.
Allen Shapiro: You making a personal call, Drummond?
Esther: No. Sorry, sir.
Charlotte Wills: Is that Mr. Shapiro? You tell him, "Yes, it's personal. Yes, it's important. And yes his wife called. And I sent her flowers on his behalf."
Allen Shapiro: Charlotte Wills. Bane of my life.
Jilly Kitzinger: First I'm trying to set up a joint appearance for you with Madison Wheatley. She's the Bisected Bride. You know, car accident sheared off everything below the bikini line. Got married a week later, propped up on a box. Basically she's made up of positive thinking and colostomy bags.
Jilly Kitzinger: Shawnie Yamaguchi.
Shawnie: That is correct.
Jilly Kitzinger: Go get me a sandwich. Tomato and Swiss on sourdough. And see how well you cope with that. Then you can find me a prostitute.
Shawnie: I'm sorry?
Jilly Kitzinger: Start with the sandwich.
Allen Shapiro: This is a hell of a lot better than nicotine gum, let me tell you. You know what the rumor is from Washington? If cancer cells are immortal, well, then the Miracle switched them around and made them just plain mortal. They're keeping it quiet in case there's an outbreak of spontaneous joy. I mean we can't have that. But it means we've got nothing to worry about. We can smoke our way into the next Great Depression.
Allen Shapiro: Well, I'm sorry, Miss Cooper, but from this moment on, Torchwood is defunct. You will be removed from American soil immediately, and God help Great Britain.
Rex: You telling me the whole world got screwed because two gay guys had a hissy fit?
Gwen: Rex, get back in your cave.
Olivia Colasanto: You inspired him. You proved immortality was possible, and he devoted the rest of his life to finding out how to live forever.
Jack: And he did it. He's still alive, he's still young?
Olivia Colasanto: Oh yes, he's still alive. Angelo Colasanto is still alive. But he's not young. My grandfather waited all this time to live forever. And his wish came true. Too late.
Olivia Colasanto: You must be horrified.
Jack: Why would you say that?
Olivia Colasanto: He's grown so old.
Jack: That's how I see the whole world. He's still young compared to me.
Allen Shapiro: People seem to be talking over me, which is fascinating and rare. And forbidden. I'll come back to you.
Allen Shapiro: So these are the Torchwood clowns?
Gwen: Torchwood did more to piece this together than the entire C.I.A.
Allen Shapiro: You're that English girl, Cooper. Have I got that right?
Gwen: No, I'm not English and I'm not a girl.
Rex: Sir, sir, with all due respect, Gwen Cooper has proven herself to be extremely useful. I think it's worth keeping her on our side.
Allen Shapiro: Did you sleep with her?
Gwen: Pardon me?!?
Rex: No sir, I did not.
Allen Shapiro: Because most women that bitter, you slept with.
Allen Shapiro: (to Jack) And what is it with you, Red Baron? Is Snoopy up your ass? (everyone snickers)
Gwen: That's funny.
Rex: Well, Brian Friedkin's a Category 1, the economy's going into a freefall, and one man died. So, how was your day?
Noah Vickers: Welcome back, Rex. Things were kind of quiet without you.
Allen Shapiro: You making a personal call, Drummond?
Esther: No. Sorry, sir.
Charlotte Wills: Is that Mr. Shapiro? You tell him, "Yes, it's personal. Yes, it's important. And yes his wife called. And I sent her flowers on his behalf."
Allen Shapiro: Charlotte Wills. Bane of my life.
Jilly Kitzinger: First I'm trying to set up a joint appearance for you with Madison Wheatley. She's the Bisected Bride. You know, car accident sheared off everything below the bikini line. Got married a week later, propped up on a box. Basically she's made up of positive thinking and colostomy bags.
Jilly Kitzinger: Shawnie Yamaguchi.
Shawnie: That is correct.
Jilly Kitzinger: Go get me a sandwich. Tomato and Swiss on sourdough. And see how well you cope with that. Then you can find me a prostitute.
Shawnie: I'm sorry?
Jilly Kitzinger: Start with the sandwich.
Allen Shapiro: This is a hell of a lot better than nicotine gum, let me tell you. You know what the rumor is from Washington? If cancer cells are immortal, well, then the Miracle switched them around and made them just plain mortal. They're keeping it quiet in case there's an outbreak of spontaneous joy. I mean we can't have that. But it means we've got nothing to worry about. We can smoke our way into the next Great Depression.
Allen Shapiro: Well, I'm sorry, Miss Cooper, but from this moment on, Torchwood is defunct. You will be removed from American soil immediately, and God help Great Britain.
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