Quotes from "The Lodger"

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor; don't know why. I call me the Doctor, too. I still don't know why.

The Doctor: Dry rot?
Craig: Or damp, or mildew.
The Doctor: Or none of the above.
Craig: I'll get someone to fix it.
The Doctor: No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister.

Craig: Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you.
The Doctor: Well, I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around. 

Craig: Where did you learn to cook?
The Doctor: Paris, in the... 18th century. No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? 17th. No, no, no, no. 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order.
Craig: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?
The Doctor: They never really stop.

Craig: Listen, Mike and I had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, okay?.
The Doctor: Why would I want that?
Craig: Well in case you want to bring someone round, a girlfriend or a... boyfriend.
The Doctor: Oh, I will. I'll shout... If that happens. Something like... I was not expecting this!

The Doctor: All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
Amy: Have you seen you?
The Doctor: So you're just going to be snide? No helpful hints?
Amy: Hmm. Well, here's one... Bow tie, get rid!
The Doctor: Bow ties are cool. Come on, Amy. I'm a normal bloke. Tell me what normal blokes do.
Amy: They watch telly, they play football, they go down to the pub.
The Doctor: I could do those things. I don't, but I could.

The Doctor: I thought you might be in trouble.
Craig: Thanks. Oh, if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush.

Amy: Football. Okay, well done, that is normal.
The Doctor: Yeah, football, all outdoorsy. Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?

Sean: You are so on the team! Next week, we've got The Crown and Anchor. We're gonna annihilate them!
The Doctor: Annihilate? No, no violence, do you understand me, not while I'm around? Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm... and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?
Sean: Yeah.
The Doctor: Lovely. What sort of time?