Quotes from "The Day of the Doctor" (Part 1)

The Eleventh Doctor: Fancy a week in ancient Mesopotamia, followed by future Mars?
Clara: Will there be cocktails?
The Eleventh Doctor: On the Moon.
Clara: Moon'll do.

The Eleventh Doctor: Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, a word to the wise. As I'm sure your father would have told you, I don't like being picked up.
Clara: That probably sounded better in his head.

Kate Stewart: What's our cover story for this?
Osgood: Umm, Derren Brown.
Kate Stewart: Again?
Osgood: Well, we sent him flowers.

The Eleventh Doctor: He was there.
Clara: Who was?
The Eleventh Doctor: Me. The other me. The one I don't talk about.
Clara: I don't understand.
The Eleventh Doctor: I've had many faces, many lives. I don't admit to all of them. There's one life I've tried very hard to forget. He was the Doctor who fought in the Time War, and that was the day he did it. The day I did it. The day he killed them all. The last day of the Time War. The war to end all wars, between my people and the Daleks. And in that battle there was a man with more blood on his hands than any other. A man who would commit a crime that would silence the universe. And that man was me.

Rose Tyler: Now, look at you, stuck between a box and a girl. Story of your life, hey, Doctor?
The War Doctor: You know me?
Rose Tyler: I hear you. All of you. Jangling around in that dusty old head of yours. I chose this face and form especially for you. it's from your past. Or your future. I always get those two mixed up.
The War Doctor: I don't have a future.

The War Doctor: If you have been inside my head, then you know what I've seen. Suffering. Every moment in time and space is burning. It must end. I intend to end it the only way I can.

The Tenth Doctor: Ah, got ya!
Elizabeth I: My love?
The Tenth Doctor: One: the real Elizabeth would never have accepted my marriage proposal. Two: the real Elizabeth would notice when I just casually mentioned having a different face. But then, the real Elizabeth isn't a shapeshifting alien from outer space. And... (takes out device that goes "ding") Ding.
Elizabeth I: What's that?
The Tenth Doctor: It's a machine that goes "ding."

The Tenth Doctor: You're a Zygon.
Elizabeth I: A Zygon?
The Tenth Doctor: Oh, stop it, it's over. A Zygon, yes. Big red rubbery thing, covered in suckers. Surprisingly good kisser.

The Tenth Doctor: Run!
Elizabeth I: What's happening?
The Tenth Doctor: We're being attacked by a shapeshifting alien from outer space formerly disguised as my horse.
Elizabeth I: But what does that mean?
The Tenth Doctor: It means... we're going to need a new horse.

The Tenth Doctor: Oh, very clever. Whatever you've got planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor. I'm nine hundred and four years old. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness, and you are... basically a rabbit, aren't you? Okay, just carry on. A general warning.

The Eleventh Doctor: Stone dust.
Kate Stewart: Is it important?
The Eleventh Doctor: In twelve hundred years, I've never stepped in anything that wasn't.

The Eleventh Doctor: Oy, you! Are you sciency?
Osgood: Oh, uh, yes.
The Eleventh Doctor: Got a name?
Osgood: Yes.
The Eleventh Doctor: Good, I've always wanted to meet someone called Yes.

Clara: Someday you could just walk past a fez.
The Eleventh Doctor: Never going to happen.

The Tenth Doctor: Compensating.
The Eleventh Doctor: For what?
The Tenth Doctor: Regeneration, it's a lottery.
The Eleventh Doctor: Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool. Oops, I'm wearing sand shoes.

The Eleventh Doctor: It's not working.
The Tenth Doctor: We're both reversing the polarity.
The Eleventh Doctor: Yes, I know that.
The Tenth Doctor: There's two of us. I'm reversing the polarity, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity.

The War Doctor: You're me? Both of you?
The Tenth Doctor: Yup.
The War Doctor: Even that one?
The Eleventh Doctor: Yes!
The War Doctor: You're my... future selves?
Tenth and Eleventh Doctors: Yes!
The War Doctor: Am I having a mid-life crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols.