Quotes from "Time Crash" (Children in Need)

Today you get some quotes from the Children in Need special "Time Crash" were the Tenth Doctor meets his fifth incarnation.

The Fifth Doctor: Is there something wrong with you?!
The Tenth Doctor: Oooooh!! There it goes, the frowny face, I remember that one!! Mind you, bit saggier than it ought to be, hair's a bit greyer...that's 'cause of me though. The two of us together, it's shorted out the time differential, should all snap back into place once we get you home...be able to close that coat again. But never mind that! Look at you! The hat, the coat, the crickety-cricket stuff...(less enthusiastic) the stick of celery...Yeah...Brave choice, celery, but fair play to you! Not many men can carry off a decorative vegetable...!
The Fifth Doctor: (furiously) Shut up!...There is something very wrong with my TARDIS and I've got to do something about it very very quickly. And it would help, it really would help, if there wasn't some skinny idiot ranting his head off in my face about every single thing that happens to be in front of him!
The Tenth Doctor: (hurt) Oh. Okay. Sorry. Doctor.

The Tenth Doctor: (excitedly) Oh, the back of our head!
The Fifth Doctor: (frustrated) What?!
The Tenth Doctor: Sorry, sorry, not something you see every day, is it? Back of your own head. Mind you...I can see why you wear a hat. I don't want to seem vain but could you keep that on?

Fifth Doctor: What's this? You've changed the desktop theme, haven't you? What's this one? CORAL?!? It's worse than the leopard skin.

The Tenth Doctor: Now here it comes, the brainy specs. You don’t even need them, you just think they make you look a bit clever.

The Fifth Doctor: It’s like two time zones at war in the heart of the TARDIS. That’s a paradox. Could blow a hole in the space/time continuum the size of... well, actually, the exact size of... Belgium. That’s a bit undramatic, isn’t it? Belgium?
The Tenth Doctor: D'ya need this?
(He offers him the sonic screwdriver)
The Fifth Doctor: No, I'm fine.
The Tenth Doctor: Oh, no, of course. You went all hands-free, didn't you? Like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe with a kettle and some string. And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable."

The Tenth Doctor: Take a look.
The Fifth Doctor: Oh. Oh no.
The Tenth Doctor: Oh yes.
The Fifth Doctor: You’re... oh no.
The Tenth Doctor: Here it comes. Yeah, yeah I am.
The Fifth Doctor: A fan.
The Tenth Doctor: Yeah. What?
The Fifth Doctor: This is bad. Two minutes to Belgium.
The Tenth Doctor: What do you mean a fan? I’m not just a fan, I’m you.
The Fifth Doctor: Okay, you’re my biggest fan. Look, it’s perfectly understandable, I go zooming around space and time, saving planets, fighting monsters, and being, well, let’s be honest, pretty sort of marvelous. So naturally now and then people notice me, start up their little groups. That LINDA lot. Are you one of them? How did you get in here? Can’t have you lot knowing where I live.

The Fifth Doctor: I’ve never met anyone else who could fly the TARDIS like that.
The Tenth Doctor: Sorry, mate, you still haven’t.
The Fifth Doctor: You didn’t have time to work that all out. Even I couldn’t do it.
The Tenth Doctor: I didn’t work it out. I didn’t have to.
The Fifth Doctor: You remembered.
The Tenth Doctor: Because you will remember.
The Fifth Doctor: You remembered being me watching you doing that. You already knew what to do because I saw you do it.
The Tenth Doctor: Wibbly-wobbly...
Both Doctors: Timey-wimey!

The Tenth Doctor: Right! TARDISes are separating. Sorry, Doctor, back to long ago! Where are you now? Nyssa and Tegan? Cybermen and Mara and Time Lords in funny hats and the Master? Oh, he just showed up again, same as ever.
The Fifth Doctor: Oh no, really? Does he still have that rubbish beard?
The Tenth Doctor: No, no beard this time. Well, a wife...

The Fifth Doctor: Thank you, Doctor.
The Tenth Doctor: Thank you.
The Fifth Doctor: (smiles) I'm very welcome!

The Tenth Doctor: You know, I loved being you. Back when I first started, at the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important, like you do when you're young. And then I was you. And it was all dashing about and playing cricket and my voice going all squeaky when I shouted. I still do that! That voice thing, I got that from you! Oh! And the trainers, and... (He puts on his glasses and grins) Snap!...'Cause you know what, Doctor? You were my Doctor.
(The Fifth Doctor raises his hat in salute)
The Fifth Doctor: To days to come.
The Tenth Doctor: All my love to long ago.
(The Fifth Doctor disappears)